Ticket To Ride
by yellowbananas
Summary: Kurt Hummel never thought he'd end up going to Dalton Academy Reform School for Boys, nor did he think he would end up rooming with the resident badass, Blaine Anderson. But then again, who knows anything about the future?
1. Prologue

**A.N: Why hello thurrr. So, this is the first fic I've ever written, and I hope you guys like it! I've been reading a lot of reform!klaine lately, and I'm absolutely in love! So, I decided to give it a try. I wrote the prologue in case anyone went like " da faq he's suddenly there? " y'know? The first chapter will start with -2 weeks later- at the beginning so you guys don't get confused! I'll fill in on what happens between the gap as the story progresses. I would appreciate your thoughts on the story, whether it's criticism or praise, so please, do review :) Alrighty then, here goes nothing :o **

**Prologue:**

"Who was I kidding when I thought the bullying would, at some point, stop?" Kurt muttered to himself as he stared at his naked torso in the mirror. His porcelain skin was marred with bruises of all shapes, colors, and sizes. His shoulders were throbbing with the constant pain of being shoved against a locker between every period. Kurt was used to the pain, but with every shove, his hard exterior would crack, and a few tears would escape involuntarily. What with the bullying increasing, those tears seemed to be coming more often than not.

"Kurt, dinner's ready!" His father called from downstairs.

"I'm coming, dad!"

After putting on a sweater, Kurt made his way down the stairs at a sluggish pace.

"Hey, dude! Why didn't you show up at glee club today? Everyone was worried! We've all noticed that Karofsky has-"

"Finn," Kurt cut him off firmly with a warning stare.

"That Karosfky kid bullyin' you again, Kurt? You told me he stopped bothering you." His father wondered aloud with a suspicious glance at Finn and Kurt.

"Yes, dad, he did stop. Finn was talking about how Karosfky came to apologize." He lied with a heavy sigh.

Finn frowned and looked down at his food.

It's not that Kurt didn't want to tell his father about what was going on at school. It's just that, what with his father recovering from a recent heart attack, he didn't want to put any pressure on him.

"Now, kiddo, you know you're supposed to tell me if anyone is botherin' you at school, right?"

"I know, and I would have if anything was going on," Kurt continued to lie easily.

_Who knew lying to your family and friends would get easier every day?_ Kurt thought bitterly.

Dinner continued at a normal pace. Kurt ate his dinner quietly while Finn rambled on about football and glee club.

"So then Rachel sang a duet with Quinn," Finn continued excitedly, with both Carole and Burt listening intently.

"Oh! I forgot to talk about how Tina-"

"May I be excused?" Kurt cut in, huffing annoyingly.

"Are you okay, honey? You seem a little down." Carole asked softly with a gentle hand on his shoulder.

It took every ounce of control not to flinch at the pain the gentle action had caused.

"I'm fine, just exhausted. I didn't get enough sleep last night, so goodnight." Kurt replied with a tight smile as he slowly got up to take his plate back to the kitchen and head upstairs.

"Alright, goodnight kiddo." Burt called with a worried glance towards Carole, and received the same worried look as he heard Kurt climb up the stairs.

Once in his room, he shut the door and padded softly to his ensuite bathroom.

They were days like this when he missed his mother the most. Days when he would beg to whatever deity he didn't believe in to stop all the pain. Days when he would pull out a razor and ease the emotional pain with every drop of blood.

"What have I done to deserve this?" He whispered brokenly as he stared into the hollow eyes staring back at him in the mirror, the reflection of the dark red vital fluid slowly dripping from his wrist.


	2. Chapter 1

**A.N: Hello hello hellooo. Alright so, I got a few messages saying that I should have warned you guys about the self-harm and stuff. And you're totally right. It's my first fic and I completely forgot, I'm so sorry. So yep, I'll tell you know that there's going to be self-harm, dark themes, and violence? I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen but yeah there's going to be some of that and I'll warn you before every chapter. This chapter doesn't have any violence or self-harm so have no fear. **

**Alright so I'm going to start writing the second chapter so that I can post it tomorrow morning. If you guys have any suggestions and stuff like that, don't hesitate to tell me! I would definitely appreciate reviews of all kinds. Whether you're telling me that I suck or that I'm a poo. **

**I hope you enjoy! :D**

**Disclaimer: Erm, no, I don't own Glee or any of the characters. **

-2 weeks later-

Kurt groaned as his alarm continued to blare from his nightstand. He reached for it and accidentally knocked down the glass of water that rested beside the alarm clock.

"Fuck," he grumbled as he tried to catch it before it fell to the ground and soaked the floorboards, but it was too late.

Kurt grudgingly got out of bed, muttering out curse words as he padded to the bathroom to grab a towel to clean out the mess.

Today was the day Kurt would be moving to Dalton Academy Reform School, and to say he was bitter about it is was an understatement.

He picked up the list the reform school had sent him and reluctantly began to pack.

The school sent a list of things students were allowed to bring along, and a list of things students were not allowed to bring along.

Kurt began picking the clothes he would bring wisely, since he would only be able to wear them on weekends due to the fact that the students at Dalton were obliged to wear uniforms.

Kurt had already researched what the uniform looked like, and was actually surprised at the pictures he had found on the site. He had expected something like an orange jumpsuit,but no, the uniforms were actually quite decent. But still, Kurt hated being dressed in the same attire as anyone else. Hell, he never even wore the same outfit twice.

One thing Kurt was worried about, though, was his roommate. The school had sent him an email regarding the fact that he would have one. And Kurt couldn't help but be a little scared. What if this guy was homophobic? What if he beat Kurt up at first site? What if he spray painted the word "Fag" all over his stuff, just like the jocks at McKinley had done?

Kurt shivered at the thought.

_Stop thinking about this, Kurt. It's only going to make it harder for you to accept the situation._

As he finished packing, Kurt reluctantly carried the suitcase out the door with one last glance at his bedroom.

Who knew when he would be able to see it again? On second thought, he put the suitcase down and went back into his bedroom to grab the pictures of his family that hung on the wall.

_One has to keep a few memories for the sake of his sanity, right?_

He made his way downstairs. As he rounded the corner to the living-room, he saw his family and glee club friends waiting to say goodbye. He stopped at the entryway, keeping good distance from the glee club members.

"We're going to miss you so much, Kurt." Said Tina with tears running down her cheeks, the rest of the club nodding somberly.

Kurt willed himself to look nonchalant about the apology and not cry.

It's not that he hated his friends or that he didn't care about them. It's just that, his friends had ignored his pleas when he was in need of their help. And he just couldn't bring himself to forgive them. Because if he said he did, he would be lying. And Kurt was sick of lies. Lying is what had gotten him to this point.

One would never think that Kurt, with his pristine and slightly flamboyant appearance, would be going to a delinquent's reform school. That he had engaged in something he himself despised.

He nodded nonchalantly in their direction without saying another word and turned to his father. The man who he had tried to avoid hurting by lying to him, by keeping his pain a secret for years, by going through the battle all on his own, but ended up not only hurting him, but also the relationship they had. Oh the irony.

He approached Burt hesitantly, not knowing whether or not his father wanted to speak to him.

When Burt found out about what had happened, he had been so hurt, that Kurt would have done anything to change back time was never on man's side, so he had opted to apologizing and telling his father the truth. He was furious that his son would lie to him about something so serious. When Kurt had told him that it was because he remembered how hurt his father was when an anonymous caller had called to tell him his son was a "Fag", and that he hadn't wanted to put any pressure on his father, his father had looked so guilty, Kurt thought he could hear his heart breaking.

Burt pulled Kurt into a tight hug and sobbed quietly. Kurt allowed a few tears to escape, regardless of the fact that he told himself he wouldn't cry in front of his glee club friends. Were they even friends anymore?

He hugged his father back just as tight, if not more, and reluctantly let go after a few moments of silent tears to say goodbye to Carole.

Carole was crying openly at this point, and pulled Kurt into a love filled embrace the second he left Burt's side.

"We'll come visit you whenever we can, honey. We love you so much and we'll miss you. Please do take care." She said brokenly.

"I'll miss you too," Kurt whispered gently into her neck, where his tears were starting to stain the colar of her shirt.

He slowly let her go and took one last look around.

"Kurt, please just-" Mercedes practically cried, taking a step towards to where Kurt was picking up his suitcase.

He held up his hand, cutting her off.

He picked up the suitcase once again, taking a deep breath, and left without so much as a backward glance towards his old friends.

A car was waiting for Kurt outside to take him to Dalton.

"You're Kurt?" The man standing outside the car asked incredulously.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Yes, were you expecting someone manlier? Well, I'd hate to disappoint you, but if you don't mind, I'd like to leave this place at once." He bit out angrier than intended and stomped his way to the passender seat, not noticing the person already sitting inside. Just as he opened the door, the boy inside gave a low snarl and snatched the door closed again, leaving a dazed Kurt to slowly back away.

The boy had a scar running down from his eyebrow to the side of his lip, with tattoos all over his arms and neck. Not to mention the piercings that decorated his face.

_Calm down, Kurt. I'm sure they don't all look__ like that._ He tried himself as he continued away from the window and to the other side of the car to climb into the back.

The man that was waiting for Kurt outside had already put the suitcase in the trunk and was now climbing into the driver's seat gracelessly.

"Kurt, this is Jack. Jack, this is Kurt" The man introduced the two teenage boys to each other.

The scary teenager simply grunted and shot Kurt a dirty look.

"Nice to meet you, too." Kurt mumbled quitely, rolling his eyes.

"Um, alright, let's go. Put your seatbelt on, boys. It's a long ride." The driver said awkwardly, shooting them a sideway glance, and started up the car.

_Great, what if this guy's my roommate? He already looks like he wants to pound my face in._

_Ha, he probably is my_ roommate._ Seeing as my luck hasn't exactly been on my side lately, my roommate is probably going to be even worse. I hate the school already, and I haven't even set foot in it, yet._

One hour and a half later, the driver was pulling up to a large black gate. He could see the outline of a few buildings beyond the high electric fences and barbed wires.

As they passed the gate, he could finally see a train of buildings. The buildings were made of gray brick, with vines growing around the edges. They resembled medieval castles, with their high pillars and high double doors. There were a few teenagers hanging around the walls, huddled into groups, laughing loudly and talking just as loud. That is, until they noticed the car, and immediately quieted down. Kurt could see them whispering to each other and pointing in his direction.

Kurt sighed heavily as the driver and Jack began to exit the car. He grabbed his shoulder bag and slowly made his way out to the trunk to grab his suitcase, purposely avoiding the eyes of the few delinquents outside that were burning into his back.

The driver held his hand up. "Leave the bags to me. I need to take them to the guards to do an inspection of the things inside before sending them up to your rooms"

Kurt nodded and clutched his bag tighter to his side and slowly began to make his way towards the double doors, where a man and woman were waiting patiently. As Kurt and Jack stopped right in front of the two people, the man stepped forward, holding his hand out to shake both of theirs. He looked like he was in his 50s, with a balding head and a few wrinkles that littered his forehead. He was dressed in a black tailored suit, with thick rimmed glasses.

"Welcome to Dalton Academy Reform School. I'm Dean Parker, and this is Mrs. Riley, the Warden." He began, gesturing to the impatient looking woman on his right.

The woman, on the other hand, looked fairly young. She had long black perfectly coifed hair, with lightly tanned skin. She wore a black pencil skirt with a tight white shirt that showed a little cleavage, which Kurt noticed that Jack definitely hadn't missed. She wore blood-red platform heels that that matched her lipstick. If it weren't for the bunch of keys hanging from her waist, Kurt would have thought she was one of those secretaries that affairs with their bosses, instead of a reform school Warden.

Kurt smiled inwardly. _That's probably the case here too. _

She nodded in their direction, and turned to the Dean and said impatiently, "If I may, Dean, I will show them around now and explain the rules, then proceed to show them their dorms."

"Yes, of course. Well boys, if you have any questions, don't hesitate to come find me in my office. I hope you stay out of trouble."

With one last nod, the Dean turned around and left.

The Warden gestured for them to follow her and began explaining the rules, "As you both know, you've both been assigned a roommate randomly. As well as the groups you will be joining."

The two teenage boys nodded as Jack continued to look at her cleavag as Kurt took in his surroundings. The inside of the building was absolutely beautiful, to say the least. The ceilings were high, with beautiful chandeliers hanging from them. The doors and were all mahogany, and the walls were Bordeaux covered with expensive looking paintings. The curtains that surrounded the wide windows were a rich gold with red trimming. Kurt also noticed that the windows looked onto a beautiful field that had practically every flower, with stone paths. He also noticed that on the far left, there was a track field. Kurt furrowed his eyebrows.

_Why would there be a track field? I'm pretty sure the boys here didn't choose to go run every morning._

The Warden seemed to read his mind, "Ah, every group has a specific time during the day where they're obliged to run around the track field for 45 minutes."

Jack groaned.

Kurt nodded and tore his eyes away the window, only to notice that every pair of eyes in the hallway was directed at him. _Maybe wearing skin-tight jeans wasn't exactly my best idea._ He lifted his chin haughtily and willed his inner-diva to reflect onto his outside. He got the feeling that if he showed any weakness between all of these teenage boys, he would get beaten within the first minute the Warden or guards left his side.

Of course, no one gave Jack any looks. Some were actually inching away from him as he passed by. Kurt didn't really blame them, he really did look scary and dangerous.

They halted to a stop in front of a wide spiral staircase, and Mrs. Riley handed the each of them a pair of keys, tags, and manuals.

"The keys are for your room. Do not lose them, you only get a main one and a spare. If you lose them both then you will have to ask your roommate to lend you one of his own." She said firmly.

"The tags have your room number, your name, date of birth, place of birth, and group number. Don't loose those either. As for the manuals, those are for you to read so you can know the rules and regulations we have here at Dalton. Your school books and bags are already up in your dorm rooms. Now, missing class is definitely out of the question unless you're sick. The guards will make weekly inspections to make sure none of you have any drugs or weapons. Last time a student had a weapon, two students were killed." She laughed hollowly.

_Fuck._

Jack grinned evilly in his direction.

Kurt gulped.

"Also, if you're well-behaved, you will be allowed to go home for 3 days every 2 weeks. But any slip up, and that privilege will be taken away until we deem you fit to be able to leave once again."

Kurt is mildly surprised about how the idea of being able to go home isn't very appealing to him. If he can even call it a home anymore. What with him not being able to tolerate the presence of any of the glee club kids at the moment, and with his father being disappointed with him. He shook his head and continued to pay attention to what the Warden was saying. _Now was not the time to think about home_.

"Well then, I have work to do, so I will leave you both to go settle into your dorms. Dinner is in two hours, so you have time to unpack and get to know your roommates." And with that, she turned around and clacked her way to who knows where.

Kurt purposely ignored the evil stares he was getting from both Jack and the students in the hallway and made his way up the stairs with his head held high.

He rounded a corner and halted to a stop in front of his supposed room. _Well then, this is it. _

He inserted the key, and with a deep breath, turned the knob and entered the room.

**Kay so I know there are questions that are not answered in this chapter, but I promise you'll understand everything as the story proceeds! I hope you liked this chapter. :D Please do review, I'd apprectiate it. :) The second chapter will be up tomorrow morning or afternoon. **


	3. Chapter 2

**A.N: Kay so I just wanted to say thank you so much to the people who reviewed, favorited, and alerted this story! I really appreciate it. I know I said I would post this chapter yesterday but my stomach was being a bitch and I couldn't focus enough to write it. **

**Also, I apologize for all the mistakes in the last chapter. I didn't proofread it and missed a few things. Hopefully I didn't miss any typos or grammar mistakes here! and if you do find mistakes here, I'm SORREH. **

**Oh and I also wanted to tell you that Blaine's thoughts will be the phrases written in bold writing, and Kurt's are the ones written in italic. **

**If any of you have any suggestions or comments, don't hesitate to say them!**

**Oh yeah, and as for the dorm room, it sort of looks like this one - notenough good wp-content/uploads/2012/03/ Dorm-Room . jpg (without the spaces) **

**I hope you like this chapter. I know not much happens in it, but I'm leaving all of that for the next chapter or the one after. I still didn't organize my ideas for this story so I'm still a little confused, but hopefully it doesn't suck too badly.. D: **

**This one was sort of a filler, y'know, his meeting with Blaine and his thoughts about Blaine. **

**Umm, as for triggers, I guess there's some foul language? No self harm in this one so don't worry about that. **

**Kay so I'll let you read. (i would appreciate reviews :3)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Glee. If I did, there would be a shitload of Klaine sexy times. **

Once he stepped into the room, his eyes darted around searching for his roommate without really focusing on his surroundings. As he realized that the room was empty, he released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

He blinked a few times and finally focused on the room. It was a good size, with two twin beds on either side of the room. There was a wide window on the wall facing the door, with a desk placed right under. Another desk was at the foot of the bed on the right. Next to that desk was a door. Kurt guessed that was the door to the bathroom. Two dressers were placed on the left side of the room near a relatively small closet that he guessed he would have to share with his roommate. Kurt groaned inwardly at the thought. _What if his clothes were filthy and un-washed? What if my clothes start to smell like his?_ Kurt gagged inwardly.

The bed on the right was un-made and the desk at its foot was filled with what he guessed were his roommate's belongings.

Kurt was actually grateful his roomie hadn't chosen the desk under the window, since he personally preferred being able to look outside onto the surprisingly beautiful garden while he studied. _It would help me keep my sanity intact._

Just as he was about to unzip his suitcase that was already brought up to the room by the guards so he could unpack, he heard the jingle of keys and the turn of the doorknob.

_This is it, Kurt._ Kurt braced himself to have insults and perhaps punches thrown in his direction by a big meatball with terrible body odor.

Once his roommate stepped in, he sucked in a sharp breath.

He was definitely not expecting him to look or smell this amazing. He had lightly tanned skin and a mop of unruly black curls on his head. His features were handsome and he had a light stubble on his jaw. Calling him simply beautiful would be an understatement.

As soon as he looked up, Kurt was pretty sure he was going to melt. He had beautiful, expressive hazel eyes. Kurt was sure if he stared back too long, the stranger's eyes would pierce a hole through him.

The curly haired boy raised a triangle eyebrow as he raked his eyes up and down Kurt's body.

Kurt cleared his throat, trying to hide the light blush on his cheeks, and stepped forward with an extended hand.

"Kurt Hummel," Kurt began.

The boy simply raised an eyebrow and walked past him, leaving Kurt standing dejectly with his arm still extended.

Kurt frowned and dropped his hand.

"Kurt, huh? I'm Blaine," Blaine said with a smirk, flopping down on his bed and pulling out what seemed to be a sketchbook.

Kurt took a seat on his bed and observed the boy, still feeling a little insulted at how Blaine had walked past him without returning his handshake.

"So, pretty boy, mind telling me what you're here for?" Blaine asked.

"Wait, wait. I bet I know the answer already," He continued before Kurt could even form a response.

Kurt raised an eyebrow, challenging him to get the answer right.

"I bet it was for shoplifting, wasn't it? Stealing some strappy heels from some designer store, I bet." Blaine said in a mocking tone.

Just as Kurt was about to respond, Blaine cut him off once again. "Oh, oh! I have an even better theory. You probably threw one of the skirts or heels you stole for yourself at a police officer while he was trying to chase you, didn't you?"

Kurt was getting quite irritated by this guy. He may have prepared himself to be insulted, but the mocking, cocky tone of this guy was really thinning his patience.

_I bet telling him what I'm here for would wipe that annoying little smirk off his face in a instant. _

"You don't know me, nor do you know what I did. So don't pretend like you do." Kurt snapped, a little angrier and louder than he intended.

Blaine looked surprised for a fraction of a second at Kurt's outburst, but quickly composed himself and pulled one side of his lips up into a hint of a smile. He put his sketchbook down and backed up onto the wall, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it before continuing, "A little feisty, aren't we? Well then, pretty boy, what are you here for?" He asked, blowing out the smoke through his nose.

"What I'm here for is none of your business, and stop calling me pretty boy." Kurt snapped, bending down to unzip his suitcase.

Blaine, of course, stared openly at Kurt's ass without his knowledge. **This is going to be fun.**

Kurt continued to pack for the next half an hour, humming under his breath, while Blaine drew on his sketchbook.

_Ha, as if this he's talented enough to be called an artist. As far as I know, I bet he's here for drug use. _

Every few minutes, Kurt would chance a glance in Blaine's direction and find him staring openly at his ass. He would huff annoyingly and self consiously, and would only receive that same cocky smile in return.

As soon as Kurt finished packing, he heard a knock on the door.

"Blaine! Open up!"

Blaine got up to open the door only to reveal five teenage boys were beginning to file into the room. _What the fuck is this? First, I find out that my roommate is one of the hottest guys I've ever seen, with the cockiest attitude. Then, he lets five of his friends come into our room?_

"Hey, Blaine. Did you see the new kid? I think he's supposed to be your room-Oh, hey!" Said an Asian boy once he noticed Kurt, who was sitting on his bed, texting Carole to tell her that he was settled in.

The blonde boy in the group stepped forward and scanned Kurt with a critical eye. "So this is the new kid?" He asked in what seemed to be an interested tone.

The darker skinned boy turned to look at Blaine, who was leaning against the door frame smoking another cigarette he had pulled out. "Well, Blaine, looks like you have a new boy toy. And this one's even pretty."

Blaine smiled cockily in his direction.

The boys chuckled and looked back at Kurt, who was trying his best to ignore their existence altogether.

Kurt was getting really irritated with everything going on around him right now. What with his roommate being a little shit, and his friends being stupidly annoying, he was pretty sure he would burst if one of them made another ignorant comment.

"I bet you he's a bottom," The boy with the dark brown hair said, looking Kurt up and down.

That was it for Kurt. He got up abruptly and willed himself not to get too angry. Getting too angry was the reason he did what he did to end up here.

"Listen, you meatheads. I'm really not in the mood for your stupid comments. It's enough that I have to deal with Blaine, who _by the way_ is going to end up dying and rotting if he keeps smoking those things. And I definitely don't want to deal with his rotten corpse, thank you very much." He said sternly, shooting daggers in their direction, especially at Blaine, who just kept smiling.

He continued, taking a step forward and shooing them away angrily. "Now, if you don't mind, I've had a really long day and I would like to take a little nap until dinner. And your annoying presence seems to be preventing me from doing so."

He pushed them all out the door and shut the door before any of them could say another word.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, not noticing that Blaine was still in the room, and turned around.

He let out a loud yelp and jumped back, clutching at his heart.

"_Fuck_, I thought I kicked you out with the rest of your friends."

"Incase you haven't noticed, _Kurt_, but this _is_ my room, too." Said Blaine, going back to the sketchbook on his bed.

Kurt stared at him wide eyed until his heart calmed down from its scare. He shook his head and walked to his bed and climbed under the blankets, not bothering to change into his pajamas.

Blaine chuckled at his dazed state while putting in his earphones, and went back to his initial business.

Kurt rolled around under the blanket so that his back was to Blaine. He stared at the wall and willed himself not to cry. He's only been here for a little less than two hours, and he already feels like he doesn't belong.

_Yeah, I definitely hate this place._


	4. Chapter 3

**A.N: Thank you SO much for all the alerts, reviews, and favorites! I really really appreciate it! **

**Well, I don't want to be annoying and write a long author's note, but I need to clarify some things in this chapter. First of all, the italic phrases that are underlined are flashbacks, and the italic ones are Kurt's thoughts. Also, the bold ones are Blaine's. **

**As for the trigger warnings, there's self harm, sexual harrassment, foul thoughts, and language. **

**I made this one a little longer so it makes up for the shortness of the previous chapter. I hope you enjoy! **

**I'd really really really appreciate reviews of all kind! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Glee related. **

**Chapter 3:**

_"What's wrong, pixie fairy? Am I bothering you? Don't pretend like you don't like it when I touch you. I know you wait around your locker for me to shove you so you could relish on how good my touch feels." Said Karofsky while dragging the back of his hand up and down Kurt's cheek rougher than necessary._

_"Please don't do this. Please, I'll do anything else you want. Just don't touch me, I beg you." At this point Kurt was crying in earnest._

_"That's right, princess. Beg for me." Karofsky groaned as he began to unzip his pants._

_Kurt was doing everything in his will-power to push him away, but Karofsky was twice his size, and he easily forced Kurt down on his knees and-_

"Kurt! Wake up, man!" And with one last shove by the blonde haired boy, Kurt bolted upright and began to back away onto the wall.

"No, please! Don't tou-Oh." Kurt blinked a few times.

"Shit, man. You were practically yelling in your sleep for the past 20 minutes. Must have been one hell of a nightmare."

Kurt's eyes automatically searched the room for the beautiful hazel eyes of his roommate. He found Blaine leaning against the wall by the door watching Kurt with searching eyes and an unreadable expression. He felt an odd flutter in his stomach at the intenseness of his gaze.

Eventually, Kurt had to look away. Finally, he took in his surroundings and noticed that there were indeed three other guys in the room and that one of them had actually just spoken to him.

They were all watching him with semi-concerned expressions.

"You okay, man?" Said the dark skinned boy, before he could question the blonde boy that had woken him up.

Kurt nodded wearily and shook his head to clear his head from the dream that has been haunting him for a while now.

He was getting a little uncomfortable with all the eyes being on him, especially the eyes of a specific curly haired boy that he could feel piercing through his soul.

Finally, Kurt managed to find his voice again and said, "Um, thanks for waking me up…?"

"No prob. I'm Jeff, by the way. We didn't get the chance to introduce ourselves earlier. These are David and Nick." Jeff pointed to the other two boys in the room.

"I'm Kurt, but I'm guessing Blaine already told you that." Kurt said while chancing a glance at Blaine, who was now smoking a cigarette that he had pulled out of his back pocket. Not that Kurt had been watching him the whole time out of the corner of his eye.

"I hope you don't do that every time you fall asleep. If you do, sleeping in the room with you is going to be one annoying adventure." Blaine teased, with that cocky smile on his face.

Kurt's face fell.

_Bastard._

Kurt bit out angrily, "Has anyone ever told you that you're an asshole? If you're unhappy with my presence, you're welcome to complain to the Warden and I'll gladly switch rooms."

In his moment of rage, Kurt had forgotten the presence of the other three delinquents until he heard them chuckle.

"Wow, Blaine. Have fun cracking this one." Said the one Kurt assumed was Jeff.

Kurt tore his eyes away from Blaine who was staring at him with a nonchalant expression, obviously not phased by Kurt's little outburst.

Suddenly, Kurt was curious as to why these four boys were here, so he asked, "What are you guys in here for?"

"Well," Nick began. "Jeff and I are here for theft. We broke into a house and attempted to haul the TV out the window when the house owner saw us and called the cops."

Kurt couldn't help the snort that came out.

"And David here, pulled a Grand Theft Auto with Wes and were arrested the next day." Nick continued, ignoring Kurt's snort amused expression.

At Kurt's questioning stare, he clarified. "Oh, Wes is that Asian boy that was with us when we first came into the room before you kicked us out.

"And Blainey here," Jeff continued, earning a scowl from Blaine because of the nickname. Kurt couldn't help but smile a little. "Is here for drug possession and for-"

"Jeff, why don't you take David and Nick to the commons? Dinner starts in a bit anyway, and I'd like to have a moment with little Kurt here." Blaine cut Jeff off before he could reveal the other reason.

_And? What else could he have done?_

Jeff stared at Blaine hard, as if trying to communicate with his eyes, before finally signaling for the others to follow him outside the door.

Kurt slowly got out of bed and grabbed some clothes from the dresser. He was trying to avoid the eyes burning into his back as much as possible.

_What makes him think I want to talk to him?_

"Kurt," Blaine began.

Kurt simply hurried his attempts to pick up his uniform and head to the bathroom, but Blaine was blocking his way.

"Blaine, please get out of my way. I'm seriously not in the mood for your existence right now and I'd like to take a shower before dinner." He said, not meeting Blaine's gaze.

"What did you do to get here?" He asked.

"I told you, it's none of your business. Now get out of my way before you seriously piss me off." Kurt bit out with an annoyed huff.

Blaine slowly stepped aside and heard Kurt shut the door loudly behind him.

Blaine sighed heavily and started for the door to head out to dinner when Kurt burst back into the room.

"Wha-"

"I forgot my toiletry bag." He cleared, grabbing the bag and heading back into the bathroom.

The curly haired boy stared at the closed door for a few moments before finally leaving the room.

Once Kurt heard their room door shut, he reached for the razor he had hidden in his bag.

His father had thrown out what he thought was all Kurt had, but Kurt had a secret stash hidden.

He twirled the piece of metal in his fingers before walking to the tub to fill it out.

Just as the tub was filled to the brim, he shed his clothes and slowly sank into the hot water.

He grabbed the razor and stared at it for a few seconds before finally bringing it down to his wrist.

His dad had tried to get him to stop once he found him unconscious on his bathroom floor one day. He had sent him to psychiatrists and therapists, but the thing was, Kurt just couldn't find any other method to make him forget his emotional pain.

He had tried painting, reading, singing, running, studying, practically any activity just so he could get his mind off what happened, but nothing worked. He discovered cutting by accident, actually. He was on a morning jog, and his mind was absolutely racing with the memory of past events, that he hadn't noticed the little rock in the middle of the sidewalk, and tripped. He landed on his hands and knees on shards of broken glass that were caused and left by drunkards, Kurt guessed. The instant the shards of glass broke through his skin, he realized that the physical pain was strong enough to block out any emotional pain.

When he returned home, his step-mother and father had freaked out at the amount of blood that was pouring down his hands and knees. He had brushed Carole's attemps at cleaning the cuts off, insisting he could do it himself. He grabbed the first aid kid and headed up to his room. Once inside, he deposited it on his bed and headed back to Finn's room to look for one of his razors. Kurt didn't shave, so he didn't really own any razors, hence taking one of Finn's.

Upon returning to his room and locking the door, the sane part of his mind was screaming at him trying to convince him that this was a bad idea. But of course, the part of his mind that held all the memories won the battle. He went to the bathroom, locked the door, and took a deep breath before bringing the razor down to his wrist.

As the sharp edge pierced his skin, he hissed at the sudden pain, but immediately began to relax. He sighed contently as he dragged the razor back and forth. Marveling at the contrast of the rich dark red was was dripping onto the white tiles. He had finally found a way to ease the pain.

He hadn't realized it had become a habit until one day he returned home, after a specifically brutal day, and couldn't find any of the razors he had hidden, and went onto full panic mode. He searched frantically for his razors, but found nothing. Before he even realized he was hyperventalating, his brother smacked him hard on the arm to calm him down.

And so, the next day, Kurt went to the drug store to buy more than was really necessary, to avoid the same situation.

So now, as he lay in the tub filled with water that was now a rich red, with the razor slowly dragging through his delicate porcelain skin, he was finally able to relax after a long morning.

Drop after drop, the memories faded to the back of his mind, and he could almost say he forgot they ever happened. Almost.

* * *

When Kurt went down for dinner an hour later, he was surprised to see that there weren't as many students as he thought there would be. David had explained to him that it was because half of the students were at home right now since it was the weekend.

He introduced Kurt to the rest of their group of friends, the boys that were in his room earlier in the day. He learned that the other boy with the dark hair was Thad. He also learned that Thad was there for attempting to rob a bank.

Also, they all apologized for their rude comments earlier and Kurt was slowly letting his guard down around them.

_Maybe I'll actually manage to make friends here._

The whole time through dinner, Kurt was stealing glances at Blaine, only to find him staring right at Kurt.

Kurt would blush and look down at his food. Which, shockingly, was actually really good. Of course, the little exchanges didn't go unnoticed by a few delinquents from the little group of boys around them.

Wes and David shared a knowing look. They were used to Blaine taking interest in basically anything that moves.

Not an innocent interest, of course.

But he usually just went for them without consent. What was holding him back?

Blaine got up from his seat across from Wes who was sitting next to Kurt, and went around the table to sit right next to the countertenor. He could feel Kurt tense up at the close proximity of their bodies and the curly haired boy smiled to himself.

When Kurt turned around to question the curly haired boy's actions, his breath hitched at how close their faces were. He could practically feel Blaine's warm breath on his face, and smell his delicious cologne and body wash.

Kurt flushed a deep red and got up abruptly, nearly knocking his chair back from the force.

"I, um, I-I need to go.." Kurt fumbled with his words. "Need to go call my dad! Yeah, I need to call my dad." And basically bolted for the door without a second look back.

Blaine watched the whole scene unfold with a mischievous smile.

The curly haired boy got up to follow Kurt when his David put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

"Listen, B, I don't think you should treat Kurt the way you usually treat your other boy toys. Kurt seems… delicate. And I'm pretty sure your attempts at seducing every living boy are not what he needs right now."

Blaine snorted and looked down at David. "I'm pretty sure a good fuck is enough to make him loosen up. The kid's screwed really fucking tight. A little seducing won't harm him. It's not like I'm going to rape him." Said Blaine, with a roll of his eyes.

The group of friends shared a worried look, but let Blaine go. They all knew better than to get on his bad side. They just hoped Blaine wouldn't harm Kurt.

* * *

Kurt practically ran up to his room and shut the door before falling back against it.

_Why does my stomach keep doing weird ass shit whenever he comes near me? Okay, I admit that he's hot, but that's it… right?_

Kurt was too busy trying to convince himself that the fluttering in his stomach was nothing by chanting 'You don't like him. You don't like him. You don't like him.' that he hadn't noticed Blaine entering the room behind him.

He yelped when he turned around and found him staring at him with an odd expression.

"Damn it! Would you stop doing that? This is the second time today!" Kurt practically yelled, the pitch of his voice higher than usual, while he clutched at his heart and panted heavily.

**I wonder how hard he'll be panting once I'm done having my way with him.**

Blaine simply let out a half-hearted chuckle and took a few steps forward until he was standing a few inches away from Kurt.

Kurt noticed the movement, and his hands started to get clammy. Not to mention his heart rate increased 100%.

He looked down to avoid the intense stare of the once hazel eyes that were now a deep brown, filled with lust.

"Wh-What are you d-doing?" Kurt stuttered, trying to take a step back, but being prevented by the arm that has snaked its way around his waist.

The curly haired boy gently lifted his chin up and began to slowly run his fingers up and down his cheeks.

_This was all too familiar._ Fear started to claw its way into his chest.

"Don't act like you're not attracted to me, Kurt. You don't have to play hard to get. I see you staring at me out of the corner of your eye."

_"You know you want this. Look at how you're shivering from my touch. You're a dirty little slut, you know that?" Karofsky said, stepping closer and gripping his arm before pushing him onto the bed._

_"Please stop doing this. I won't tell anyone if you would just stop, I beg you." Kurt kept pleading with tears running down his face._

_"Are you saying you would tell someone if I didn't stop?" He growled menacingly, pinning Kurt's arms over his head as he started to take his clothes off. "You wouldn't dare tell anyone. And if you do, I'll find you, and kill you."_

Unaware of his actions because of the flashback that hit him, he started pushing roughly and backing away as fast as possible. Just as he stepped back, his foot caught on the corner of his suitcase and before he knew it he was falling back and landing harshly on his back with his head hitting the sharp corner of the bed.

The impact was strong enough that the ringing in his ears blocked out the frantic calls of his name, and before he knew it, everything went dark.

**A.N:**

**KURT MY BABEH I LOVE YOU I'M SORRY.**

**Don't worry, y'all. Blaine isn't a bad guy. Well, aside from the fact that he's at a reform school, but you know what I mean. Things will get clarified in later chapters.**

**I feel bad for Kurt. I told Blaine not to approach him, but he just wouldn't listen to me smh. These characters have a mind of their own I swear. **

**Well then, I hope you liked it! Please review. :) **

**And if any of you have questions, feel free to ask me. I'll answer all of the ones that don't include spoilers for the next chapter.**


	5. Chapter 4

**A.N: Hi! So, I was supposed to update yesterday, but I was lazy. Sorreh. But, erm, I hope you guys like this chapter. I'm not too happy about it.. but meh. I would really appreciate reviews. Cause I'm not exactly sure if I'm doing a good job or not.**

**But thank you so much to those who favorited/alerted/already reviewed the story!**

**If you guys have questions, don't hesitate to ask.**

**Once again, everything underlined are past events. Memories, or so.**

**- Blaine's thoughts**

_- Kurt's thoughts. _

**I apologize if there are any mistakes.**

**Poor Kurtie. You'll finally know what he did to get into reform school in this chapter!**

**Triggers: ermmm, let's see… rape reference, language, mentions of self harm, violence? Eh.. I suck at this.**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Not mineee.**

**Chapter 4:**

Kurt groaned as he stirred into consciousness. He blinked his eyes open slowly only to finally notice the headache that was hammering its way into his skull. He groaned once again and sank back into what he presumed was his bed.

"You hit your head pretty hard."

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows and turned his head in the direction of the voice and came face to face with a sheepish looking Blaine.

The curly haired delinquent extended a glass of water in one hand and an aspirin in the other.

"Here, this should help with your headache."

Kurt was about to reach for the glass, until he remembered why he was laying in bed with a massive headache in the first place. He shot out of the bed and backed away onto the wall, this time more aware of where he put his feet, and turned to look at Blaine with a wary expression.

Blaine was a little stunned by what just happened. He turned to look at Kurt and stood up. "Kurt, I'm not going to hurt you."

Kurt stared at him doubtfully.

Blaine sighed and ran a hand through his luscious curls. For once, he looked a little distraught and concerned.

"Look, Kurt. I'm sorry about what happened. I didn't think you would freak out like that."

Kurt said nothing and continued to study him.

Blaine took a tentative step forward.

"Don't come near me."

The curly haired boy's expression changed to one of irritation.

"You know what? Fine, I don't even want to come near you. Jeez, it's like you have a stick up your ass 24/7." Blaine snorted, "Scratch that, your body screams virgin."

And with that, the cockiness returned.

Kurt's head was pounding so hard that he barely registered what Blaine had said enough to feel hurt.

"And you seriously need to chill the fuck out. It's not like I was going to rape you." Blaine said carelessly as he turned his back to Kurt and walked to his bed, not noticing how Kurt curled around himself and sunk to the floor, whimpering gently as his eyes shone with unshed tears.

Without a second glance, Blaine grabbed his phone off the bed and left the room.

Kurt broke.

He didn't know whether he preferred having a roommate that would physically beat him, or someone like Blaine.

Whenever Kurt was near him, he'd feel his heart flutter. He couldn't help but miss the way Blaine's eyes shone with concern. Concern for Kurt.

Kurt's sobs subsided and he shook his head to clear his thoughts.

_Don't be ridiculous. He wasn't concerned about you, he was probably concerned about getting blamed for your injury and what would happen to him._

But Kurt didn't know that right outside their dorm room, Blaine was sitting with his back to the door and his head in his hands. He couldn't get the pained look on Kurt's face before he pushed him away and fell out of his head. He flinched as he recalled the previous events.

_Before Blaine could really register what was going on, Kurt was staggering backwards and falling into oblivion. Blaine panicked for a moment before picking Kurt's immobile body up and gently placing him on the bed. He ran into the bathroom to grab wet a towel before running back to Kurt's side and placing it on his forehead. He sat by his side and took Kurt's soft hand in his and gently started to stroke it with his thumb. Blaine sat there staring at Kurt. Staring at how his hand looked like it was made for his. He couldn't help but stare in wonder at how beautiful Kurt was. With his porcelain skin, soft looking chestnut hair, angelic voice, beautiful bone structure, and deadly gorgeous eyes that he could just drown in. Kurt's lips were slightly parted, and Blaine had the sudden urge to kiss him. He'd never seen anyone with beauty remotely close to Kurt's. It had taken all of his willpower for his jaw not to drop open when he first laid eyes on him. But most of all, he had been avoiding the fluttering in his chest whenever Kurt looked at him or even stood near him._

**It doesn't mean anything. You're Blaine Anderson, resident badass. You're not allowed to have any feelings. You remember what happened last time you cared about someone, right?**

_Blaine released Kurt's hand bitterly at that last thought, immediately missing the warmth and softness of Kurt's hands._

_As Kurt's hand dropped back onto the bed limply, the sleeve of his uniform lifted a little, and Blaine gasped quietly at what he saw._

_Multiple red lines littered his wrists._

_Blaine slowly pulled back the sleeve and felt his heart clench painfully in his chest. The red lines spread all the way to his elbows. He slowly and gently ran his fingers over them. Blaine suddenly felt angry at whoever or whatever was the cause of Kurt's obvious cutting._

**I guess I'll have to ask him and find out.**

He could hear Kurt's quiet sobs through the door, and his heart clenched. He felt like punching himself for causing the beautiful countertenor distress.

**What's wrong with you, Blaine? You never cared about hurting anyone. Well, at least not since _you know who_.**

He sighed and stood up and began making his way to his secret spot.

* * *

Kurt lay in his bed, curled into a ball, staring at nothing in particular. He heard Blaine walk in, but didn't move from his fetal position.

Blaine took in Kurt's state and mentally kicked himself. He looked so broken, so fragile, that Blaine just wanted to envelop him into a hug and protect him from the world.

**Maybe it's time for you to stop being such a prick and apologize to him.** The voice in his head scolded.

"Kurt?" He began.

Kurt's eyes flickered to him for a brief second before going back to staring at nothing.

**Okay then.**

He continued, "Look Kurt, I'm so sorry for what happened. I swear I never wanted to hurt or scare you. I just thought we'd have a little fun."

"_Fun_? Is everything a game to you? Did it not occur to you that maybe, just _maybe_, I didn't want to have _fun_?" Kurt snapped quietly, still not looking at Blaine.

He slowly began to sit up against the headboard, his head lowered as his hands idly played with tip of the comforter.

"I'm sorry. I really am, Kurt. I may seem like the bad guy, but I would never hurt you like _that_."

"Like that?"

"As in force you to have sex with me." Blaine blurted. As soon as the words were out in the air, he regretted opening his mouth.

Kurt visibly flinched. He pulled his legs up and curled in on himself, his eyes shining with tears.

_**Oh.**_

Blaine gaped as the realization hit him. He took a step forward hesitantly, watching Kurt's reaction. When Kurt didn't flinch, he sunk onto the bed next to him and gently turned his face so he was staring Blaine in the eyes.

"Kurt… Did something like that happen to you?" At this point, tears were streaming down Kurt's face freely as he stared into the hazel eyes. He turned his face away from those eyes sharply, as if waiting for Blaine to move away from disgust.

Blaine's heart broke.

"Look at me, Kurt." He spoke gently.

Slowly, Kurt turned his face again and his breath hitched when he noticed how close their faces were.

Blaine's eyes flickered down to Kurt's lips, now slightly parted, and back up to Kurt's eyes.

He slowly leaned forward and stopped about an inch away from Kurt's face, searching his eyes for any sign that told him he didn't want this, but found none. He closed the gap and pressed his lips to Kurt's.

**Holy fucking shit.**

_Oh. My. God._

It was like fireworks exploded and both of their hearts were hammering against their chests.

**Well, this feeling is new.**

Blaine lifted his hand and caressed Kurt's cheek, and Kurt sighed into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Blaine's neck and pulling him closer.

_I'm kissing Blaine. I'm kissing Blaine._

There was no urgency, no rush. Both of them were just relishing the taste and softness of each other's lips and the feeling of being wrapped around a body that they thought was literally made for them.

Kurt pulled away slowly after a few minutes, ducking his head shyly, hiding his blush. Blaine couldn't help but smile at how adorable and beautiful Kurt looked.

His stomach was literally doing back-flips.

Blaine hated to ruin the moment, but he just had to know what happened to Kurt. So he could personally kill whoever touched him.

The hazel eyed boy positioned himself against the headboard and pulled Kurt to his side, wrapping his arms protectively around his thin waist. Kurt burrowed his head in the crook of his neck and sighed contently.

None of them asking the obvious question of where they stood right now. Right now, they were happy resting in each other's arms.

Instead, Blaine approached the subject of the incident once again.

"Kurt, why are you here?" He asked gently.

Kurt stiffened and began to back away from Blaine, but was restrained by Blaine's hold.

He held Kurt closer and tighter. Kurt looked up at Blaine and the curly haired boy nodded, encouraging him to tell the story."It happened a few weeks ago," Kurt began, his voice small. "I was always taunted at school for being the only out gay kid there. I would constantly get slushied in the face, shoved into lockers, thrown into dumpsters, getting called cruel names, and no one ever noticed. Or if they did, they just didn't care. But there was this one Neanderthal that bullied me the most. One day, when I finally found the courage to stand up to him after one particularly hard shove against the locker, he... k-kissed me." Kurt's voice wavering at that last part.

Blaine's fists clenched tightly. He pulled Kurt even closer.

"Kurt, if you don't want to-"

"No, if I don't get everything out now, I won't be able to later." Kurt assured in a shaky voice.

He continued, fisting his hands on Blaine's shirt as he said the next part. "Then the next day, when no one was around, he pulled me into the janitor's closet and locked the door. Then he started…" He took a deep shaky breath, his eyes starting to shine with new tears. "H-He started to t-touch me. A-And he kept saying that I wanted it. But I was crying and trying to back away as much as possible. I didn't want it, Blaine. I swear I didn't. But it was futile. He was three times my size, so he easily shut me up by shoving a cloth into my mouth. Then he… Then he started to undress me, a-and he forced me on my knees."

It took all of Blaine's willpower not to bolt out the door and find this sick bastard and beat him to death.

Kurt continued quietly, making Blaine's ears strain to hear him properly, "He forced me to… you know. He would force me to do this everyday. Until one day, he decided to take it to the next level. I begged him and told him I wouldn't tell anyone of he just stopped, but he didn't listen. H-He _r-raped_ me, Blaine." His voice broke at that last statement. His body was shaking violently, his fists tighter around Blaine's shirt.

Kurt's face turned to one of hatred. "I felt so disgusted after he finished, that I was vomiting and could barely move. So I skipped school for an entire week. Apparently, he thought I had told someone, that that's why I was missing school. He was furious when I saw him a week later. He pulled me by the hair into the janitor's closet and started ripping my clothes off. When he started doing that, I realized what was about to happen _once again_ and I... I lost it. I looked around for something to hurt him with, and I saw a stick resting against the wall. I grabbed it while he was unzipping his pants and started hitting him. And I didn't stop." He said the last part with clenched teeth and fat tears spilling out of his eyes.

"I hit him until there was blood everywhere. I was so angry. I felt so violated. He took everything from me. My innocence, my happiness, my _life_. When my anger subsided, and I finally realized what I had done, it was too late. The janitor opened the closet just as I dropped the stick. I _k-killed_ him, Blaine. _I killed him._"

Blaine was whispering comforting words into Kurt's ear as the boy convulsed with violent sobs. He tried to grasp everything Kurt had just told him.

**He killed him.**

The curly haired boy took a deep breath, slowly but firmly prying Kurt's shaking hands from his shirt and holding them tightly in his.

"He deserved it. Don't beat yourself up for this." Blaine said sincerely, looking directly into Kurt's eyes.

"B-But I'm a _m-murderer._" Kurt whispered harshly, fresh tears sliding down his face and soaking his collar.

"No, you're not. He _raped_ you, Kurt. He hurt you. It was self-defense. You're _not_ a murderer. If you were, you wouldn't be at a reform school, you'd be in jail." Blaine supplied firmly, releasing his hands and holding Kurt's face gently, thumbing away the tears.

Kurt stared into the eyes that were now a shining gold, threw all of his resolve out the window and surged forward, closing the gap between their lips. He kissed him urgently, fisting his hands in his shirt once again as if his life depended on it. It was messy and wet from the all the tears, but still passionate. Blaine kissed back just as urgently, holding Kurt tightly, as if protecting him from the past events.

Kurt knew he shouldn't feel so attached to Blaine already, but he just couldn't help it. It had barely been two days, most of which Blaine was being a cocky asshole, and yet he felt like he would rather be nowhere else than in Blaine's arms.

Blaine, on the other hand, was having an internal mind battle. One side was telling him to stop before he got too attached, and the other was telling him to go on, to save this broken boy. Unfortunately for him, the memory of his past relationship hit him like a freight train and he pulled away sharply. He got up abruptly, causing Kurt to stagger back.

"I-I can't do this. I'm sorry." And with that he bolted out the room and ran to his secret spot, the tears that he had been trying to suppress finally breaking free and streaming messily down his face. He knew he would hate himself for what he just did, that Kurt's expression after he got up would haunt him.

**You're an asshole. He just spilled his heart out and you rejected him like that. You probably broke his heart. **

* * *

Kurt stared after him, his arm extended, as if beckoning Blaine to come back.

Once again, he broke down, sobbing loudly this time, not caring about being heard by his neighbors.

* * *

Blaine arrived to his secret spot, thankful for the empty halls so no one would see him crying. That would definitely ruin the reputation he had carefully built, making the school both respect and fear him.

He collapsed onto the ground and broke, shaking with sobs.

**A.N: please don't slap me cause of the ending! It's necessary! I couldn't end it any other way, or their relationship would be way too rushed! I'm SORREH! But I promise, There's going to be a good amount of fluff in the future. But right now, poor Blainey has to solve his own problems before jumping into another relationship. I'll fill you in on what his past relationship was like soon!**


	6. Chapter 4 pt2

**AN: I'M SORRY I DIDN'T UPDATE SOONER BUT I JUST GOT SO BUSY AND POO.**

**This isn't exactly a chapter on it's own, it's actually a continuation of the previous chapter. I know it's crappy and short, and I'm not entirely happy with it, but a) I had to give you guys SOMETHING and b) I needed to add a filler or the next chapter wouldn't exactly seem realistic.**

** I am going to warn you that it's eventless and there's basically NO klaine interaction, but I CAN tell you one thing, and it's that I'll upload chapter 5 (which is way longer than this one, don't worry) tomorrow or so. (and it'll have klaine interaction, I promise) So please forgive me for this!**

**Blaine's thoughts.** _Kurt's thoughts. Past events (memories,_ basically)

**K so triggers: um, self harm and language, I guess.**

**Chapter 4 pt.2:**

Kurt couldn't decide if he hated Blaine more, or himself. Hating Blaine for being a _heartless dick_, as Kurt would like to think, or hating himself for feeling so much after so much as a few kisses.

Kurt knew it wasn't just about the kisses, but he refused to think otherwise. He refused to think about how Blaine held him when he spilled his heart out. About the way he stared at Kurt with such concern, like he was the most precious thing in the world, or about the way Kurt felt at home in Blaine's arms. No, he refused to think about those, and he refused to shed any more tears over someone who didn't seem care about him. _Enough._

Sure, he was hurt by what Blaine did, – Heck, he spent the whole night crying about it - but most of all, he just felt hollow. Hollow, because it wasn't the first time someone's hurts him like that. Hollow, because he's always had his emotions toyed with, taken advantage of for the sake of pleasing one's dirtiest desires.

When Blaine came back to the room, a few hours after leaving so abruptly, Kurt didn't even acknowledge his existence. His exterior feigned indifference about Blaine's entrance, but on the inside his heart was still a raw, open wound, regardless of the fact that he told himself he wouldn't beat himself up over this. _Funny how he's managed to hurt me almost as much as Karosky in less than 24 hours. _

He was pouring his soul out for Blaine, breaking down his walls, letting him in like he didn't let anyone else in, and Blaine just went and stomped all over that. _What were you thinking, Kurt? It's basically your fault for being so naïve. His friends practically warned you that you was just a toy for him to play with and throw away when he finally got bored._

Kurt got up from his place on the bed where he had his back to Blaine, who was now sitting on his bed with his back against the wall, and padded softly to the bathroom, ignoring the piercing hazel eyes directed at him.

Once inside, he pulled out his razor once again, letting out a relieved sigh as soon as the blade broke his skin. He rested his back against the door and shut his eyes. Drop after drop, the pain slowly subsided.

* * *

To say Blaine felt guilty was an understatement. He felt completely and utterly horrible.

When he went back to the room, he walked in on Kurt, who lay motionless on the bed, staring off into space with his back to the world. He contemplated apologizing to him, but his inner voice told him an apology would be useless, and decided against it.

**You screwed up. I wouldn't be surprised if he just ignores your existence altogether.**

He padded to his bed, taking off his blazer along the way and throwing it on his chair. He flopped onto the bed and backed up until his back was against the wall. He rested his head against the wall and shut his eyes slowly.

It wasn't that there was anything wrong with Kurt. In fact, Blaine couldn't see any flaws whenever he looked at Kurt. Sure, his attitude could use a little adjustments, but he found him to be beautiful on both the inside and outside. It was just that he didn't think he was ready for another relationship. Not after what happened with Scott. And Kurt reminded him too much of the boy he once thought was his everything. The boy who promised to never break his heart, to never hurt him. **  
**

_"Scott? Scott! Please wake up! Please wake up, please! Oh god, oh god," Blaine pleaded hysterically, holding the boy's limp body in his arms. "Please, don't leave me, Scott. Please, you're all I have. Wake up, please wake up. Somebody help!" He yelled out to no one in particulate, hoping someone would hear him. __"You promised me you would never leave. You promised you wouldn't break my heart. You promised," He whispered urgently, begging for any type of movement from the motionless body he held tightly against his body, an endless stream of tears running down his face and neck, staining his collar. "You promised."_

Kurt suddenly got up, interrupting his train of thoughts, and Blaine mentally berated himself when he caught a glimpse of Kurt's face, which was all puffed up from what he guessed were hours of crying. His eyes were red rimmed, there were tear stains on his cheeks, and his nose was red.

**You did that to him. He's like this because of you. You stabbed him right where it hurt. **

He looked up at him, trying to catch the blue eyed boy's eyes, but he just stared ahead, staring at nothing in particular as he walked to the bathroom and shut the door softly behind him.

Blaine pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged them, resting his chin on his arms, his eyes filling with unshed tears. Kurt looking so hollow and void, practically emotionless, worried Blaine even more than if the gorgeous countertenor were yelling at him for being such an asshole.

**That's probably because he's been hurt so many times that he's used to it.**

He cringed at that last thought.

**Okay, you know what? Stop it, Blaine Anderson, this isn't like you. You swore you wouldn't get emotionally tangled up with anyone after Scott, so what's the problem? **Blaine straightened up, wiping his eyes. His inner voice was right. This wasn't like him. If Kurt wanted to pretend like he didn't exist, then he would do the same.

He gradually ignored the ache he felt in his heart.

* * *

The next couple of days were a blur. Kurt hasn't said a word to Blaine since the 'incident'. His riends noticed the change in Kurt's demeanor, but whenever someone would ask him what happened, he would reply with 'Nothing, I'm just tired'. He knew they could see right through the lie, but thankfully they knew better than to question him further about it. Seeing as Blaine seemed to be perfectly fine and unfazed by what happened, it made it both easier and harder to avoid him. Whenever his eyes would – randomly, of course - spot Blaine in a crowd, laughing and joking with his friends, he would feel more angry than hurt. Angry because Blaine clearly didn't care that he broke both Kurt's heart and Kurt's trust.

Classes passed by in a haze. People still eyed him in what seemed to be disgust, but he just couldn't bring himself to care. He would go day by day staring at nothing in particular, never really there, avoiding everything.

Everyday he would tell himself that he needed to stop acting like this and actually hang out with some of the friends he's made, but that thought would immediately vanish as soon as he saw Blaine. But eventually, after three days of religiously avoiding the curly haired boy's existence, he decided to accept Nick and Jeff's requests of hanging out with him. Both Nick and Jeff seemed excited and relieved, knowing Kurt needed any kind of distraction, which made Kurt feel a little walked alongside them as they made their way outside the dinner hall to head up to their dorm room to watch a movie. _This is good. It'll help you stop all of your pathetic moping._

What he didn't notice, though, were the hazel eyes that always seemed to be glued to him whenever he wasn't paying attention.


	7. Chapter 5

**AN: Here you go, this one's longer than the last chapter. (Thank you guys for your alerts and reviewes and favorites! :D)**

**Blaine's thoughts.** _Kurt's thoughts. _

**This chapter alternates between Kurt and Blaine. Those line thingies should clarify when we're in Blaine's head and when we're in Kurt's.**_  
_

**Triggers: Drug use and language. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

**Chapter 5:**

"What did you do to him, Blaine?"

Blaine turned his head in the direction of the voice, only to be rewarded with the faces of his friends staring at him with annoyed expressions.

"What makes you think I did anything to him?" Blaine snapped, a little harsher than he intended.

"Well, first of all, this isn't the first time we see the aftermath of your actions. Remember Jack? You told him you liked him just for the sake of getting him into your bed. When you ignored his existence the next day, you pretty much broke his heart. And that's aside from the dozen other boys you did the same thing with." David supplied thoughtfully. He continued, "Second of all, you have 'guilty' written all over your forehead whenever you look at Kurt. Which seems to be all the time."

Blaine was staring down at the table, willing himself not to get angry. It _was_ his fault afterall.

Wes added, "We warned you not to bother Kurt, B. He's obviously more sensitive than any of us were when we first started here."

This time, Thad who had been watching the exchange in silence, jumped into the conversation, "Something tells me you care about him."

Blaine's head snapped up fast enough for his neck to crack. He laughed nervously, trying to sound confident, but his voice wavered. "Don't be ridiculous."

The three boys exchanged looks.

David put his arm on Blaine's shoulder gently. "Listen B… we know the thing with Scott-"

"Don't." He interrupted quietly, shrugging off David's hand. "I don't care about Kurt like that, okay? Get it into your thick skulls." He spit out. The three boys sighed heavily and stood up.

"Where are you three going?" The curly haired boy asked, regretting his harsh tone when he knew his friends only meant well.

"We're going to hang out with Kurt, Nick and Jeff in their room."

"Oh." Blaine looked down at his hands.

"You could always apologize, Blaine." Wes suggested gently. The boys remembered how Blaine was after the Scott incident, and they hated to see their friend like this. To everyone else, Blaine was a tough badass. But to his friends, he was still the same small vulnerable boy they met years ago.

Blaine faked a smile, not caring if his friends could see right through it. "Nah, I'm good. I'm going to go take a walk." He got up and left before any of them could say anything else.

No one saw the tears that were pooling in his eyes.

* * *

Nick, Jeff and Kurt were sitting on Jeff's bed watching She's The Man on Nick's laptop. It had taken at least 20 minutes for them to decide on a movie. Jeff and Nick kept bickering and arguing about whether they should watch She's The Man, or Austin Powers. She's The Man being Nick's favorite movie because of Amanda Bynes, and Austin Powers being Jeff's. Kurt watched the exchange in silent amusement. _They look cute together._ In the end, they both turned to him expectantly, asking him to choose between both movies. Kurt chose She's The Man, claiming he couldn't stand the way Austin Powers dressed, earning a chuckle from both boys. Just as the movie was about ten minutes through, there was a knock on the door. Jeff got up to open the it, revealing David, Wes and Thad.

"Hey, Kurt!" Wes greeted in a friendly tone.

Kurt simply smiled and nodded as a response.

Wes, seeming oblivious to Kurt's lack of vocal response, plopped down on the bed next to him. It took almost all of Kurt's self control not to visibly flinch at the sudden close contact.

"Oh, I love this movie. Amanda Bynes is hot as a fuck." David commented from where he took a seat on top of Nick's laying body, ignoring Nick's squirming and protests.

"You bastard, I can't breathe!" Nick gasped as David made himself more comfortable.

"Yes, you can. Now shut up, the part where she transforms into a guy is my favorite part." David replied coolly.

"David, so help me I will-"

David shoved a balled t-shirt that was on the bed into his rambling mouth, effectively shutting him up. Everyone laughed at David's calmness and Nick's struggling. Even Kurt couldn't hold the laugh bubbling in his chest. Everyone looked at Kurt when they heard him laugh. He stopped laughing and looked down quickly, shyly. The boys exchanged a look, all seeming to have the same relieved expression that Kurt was finally opening up.

"You know, Kurt, you have a really nice laugh."

Kurt looked up, seeing everyone's intense gazes on him and blushed a deep red. Thad cleared his throat and motioned to the movie. "I don't know why she feels the need to cover up her boobs in those bandage thingies, they're basically non-existent."

"Hey! Don't insult Amanda Bynes! She's perfect in every way, okay?" Nick retorted defensively after finally spitting out the t-shirt from his mouth. They laughed at his defensive tone, David turning to Kurt and adding, "Nick has the biggest obsession with her. If you want proof, go ahead and open his closet. He has a bunch of pictures of her hung around on the inside."

"She's really pretty, okay?" Nick huffed, still struggling under David's weight.

Jeff suddenly burst out laughing. "Oh my god, do you guys remember when he got really drunk and high and thought Thad with a blonde wig on was her?" Everyone burst into laughter, ignoring the movie.

"Are you serious?" Kurt asked between giggles, looking at Nick who was glaring at everyone.

"Yeah! He tried to make out with me and made grabby hands to my non-existing boobs!" Thad exclaimed between fits of laughter, doubling over the desk chair he was sitting on. Nick saw Jeff grabbing the camera off the desk and suddenly lunged after him, making David topple backwards. "Don't you dare show Kurt the video!"

Jeff threw the camera at David who barely caught it, avoiding Nick's protests.

"Please let me see it, Nick!" Kurt begged between occasional giggles.

Nick sighed, "Fine, but only because I like you, Kurt, and I know you won't make fun of me." He said confidently.

Jeff gave Kurt a dubious look. "I doubt anyone who watches that video wouldn't make fun of you."

Kurt chuckled and scooted closer to David, who was looking through the camera gallery for the video.

"Aha! Alright, Kurt. Are you ready to see the funniest video in history?"

Kurt nodded, smiling. He took the camera from David and pressed play. The video started off with Jeff yelling into the camera, belting what seemed to be 'I like big butts and I cannot lie!' Kurt couldn't suppress a smile. Then the camera turned onto Nick who was dancing with himself in the middle of what seemed to be a lounge. He could see Thad putting on a blonde wig drunkenly, and suddenly Nick exclaimed 'Amanda!' and ran towards Thad who was too drunk to even realize the dark haired boy that was about to tackle him to the ground. Nick landed effectively over Thad, straddling him once he sat up. He started petting Thad's wig affectionately, whispering things like 'Amanda, baby, I knew you would come find me.' At this point, Kurt was shaking with laughter. The video continued, showing Nick grabbing at Thad's chest, seemingly looking for boobs. Then Nick suddenly lunged at Thad's face with his lips puckered. Everyone else in the room was laughing so hard, a boy in the back that looked like Blaine toppled back and fell from laughter. Kurt tried to avoid the fluttering in his chest when he saw Blaine laughing in the video. He saw a boy with light brown hair going over to Blaine and helping him up before wrapping him in his arms affectionately, kissing his forehead. He tried to shake the sudden feeling of jealousy from his person who was filming was laughing so hard he ended up dropping the camera to continue his fits of laughter, and then the video ended. Kurt's laughs were a bit more strangled now, but thankfully no one noticed. He couldn't get the image of that boy kissing Blaine on his head, staring at him like he was the only human on the planet._  
_

"Oh sure, everyone, laugh it out, laugh it out." Nick huffed, trying to sound annoyed, but the smirk playing at his lips told everyone otherwise. Everyone laughed even louder.

No one bothered to notice the shadow of someone's feet through the crack under the door.

* * *

Blaine didn't know why he cared so much. But whenever he looked at Kurt, it would remind him of Scott, except, Kurt was still different. Unique. It was like something was pulling him towards the chestnut haired boy. So he decided he would go apologize to Kurt. Once Blaine stood in front of Jeff and Nick's door, he took a deep breath and reached his hand out to knock, but stopped short when he heard loud laughter from the room. He could also hear an unfamiliar laugh, which he guessed was Kurts. His heart clenched tightly and he retracted his hand quickly as if the door would burn him if he touched it.

**He probably forgot about your existence. They probably all forgot about your existence.**

Blaine turned around quickly and walked back to his room, tears he hadn't even realized were there sliding down his cheeks. As soon as he was inside, he bent and reached for something underneath his bed. He grabbed the he pulled out bag and left the room once again. He practically ran to his secret spot. The spot he and Scott used to sit in to avoid people from finding them. Where they would feel like the only two people alive. It was their own little world.

He sat down and flipped the bag over, spilling the contents onto the floor. There was a photo album, a little Ziploc bag with white powder residue, another Ziploc bag with colorful pills, a few packets of cigarettes, and a slightly bigger Ziploc bag with a needle, a silver spoon, tin foil, and a few alcohol swabs. He grabbed a pack of cigarettes, pulled a lighter out of his back pocket, and pulled out a cigarette with his lips expertly. He lit it and picked up the photo album. He smiled fondly at the first photo. It was a picture of him and Scott doubled over from laughter, with Scott resting his arms across Blaine's back for support. The second picture was of him, Scott, and his other 5 friends all squished together on Blaine's bed, all of them with their mouths open from what he guess was speaking during the picture and frowns on their faces, as some of them pointed to the camera. He suppressed a giggle when he remembered that he had accidentally put it on video instead of setting the timer on the camera for a picture. The third picture was of him and Scott staring affectionately at one another on the grass outside on the field with Wes and David's eyes rolled mid-way in the backround from where they were sitting ignored by the two lovers. His fingers traced the contours of Scott's face, trying to remember the feeling of his skin beneath his fingers. His vision was suddenly blurry and only until he wiped his eyes did he realize that there were tears pooling there. He flicked the cigarette butt onto the floor and stepped on it, putting out the flame, and picked up the Ziploc that carried the colorful pills. He pulled one out, twirling it between his fingers as he thought. His eyes darted between the pill and the needle. He put the pill back and took the needle and the rest of the contents out of the bigger Ziploc bag to prepare a fix. Once he was done, he pulled his sleeve back and clenched his fist, wrapping a Latex tourniquet around his arm. Finally, he picked up the needle and tapped it a few times before he brought it down to his skin and injected the needle without a second thought. Once he was done, he dropped the needle onto the floor and relaxed and shut his eyes.

* * *

Once everyone calmed down from their high, Kurt dared to ask the question that had been plaguing his mind. "Who was the guy that hugged Blaine in the video?" He blurted.

The air suddenly filled with silent tension and the five boys exchanged sad looks. Finally, David answered his question. "That was Blaine's boyfriend."

"Oh." Kurt whispered, looking down at his lap.

Nick sighed and sat next to Kurt. "Kurt, listen… Blaine isn't exactly the tough guy he seems to be. He's been through more than most of us combined. And Scott… Well, Scott used to be everything." He said sadly.

Kurt looked up at everyone's solemn expressions. "Was? What happened?"

"I wish we could tell you, but it's not our place. Blaine has to tell you himself." Jeff supplied quietly.

Wes added, "Word of advice, though, Kurt, don't bring it up randomly. It's an extremely sensitive topic, and if you bring it up carelessly, there's no telling what Blaine would do."

Kurt nodded and continued to stare down at his lap, deep in thought. _Why were they using the past tense when they talked about Scott? He couldn't be dead, could he? And what did Wes mean when he said there was no telling what Blaine would do if I brought up the subject of Scott out of the blue?_

Thad cleared his throat, interrupting the silence in the room. "Well then, I think I'm going back to my dorm room now. It's almost past curfew."

Everyone muttered their agreement and got up, including Kurt. They exchanged awkward smiles and each returned to their respective dorms.

* * *

Blaine woke up with a start to the sound of his phone ringing in his ear. He blinked his eyes a few times to adjust them. He grabbed his phone to answer the call when his eyes saw what time it was, and he freaked. **Fuck**. He gathered all the stuff on the floor and shoved them into the bag, avoiding his phone that had started a second round of ringing when he didn't answer the first time. He picked it up once he was done putting his things away and answered breathlessly, not bothering to look at the number calling. "Hello?"

"B, where the fuck are you? Kurt just told us you still didn't return to the dorm! It's 4 hours past curfew! Are you fucking insane? If the guards patrolling around catch you-"

"Would you shut the fuck up? I fell asleep! Fuck. I'm on my way back. Is the coast clear?" He whispered harshly.

"Yeah, I told Kurt to leave your room door a little open so you wouldn't have to use your key and get caught."

"Alright, thanks for waking me up, man. I'm rounding the corner so I'm going to shut the phone so I don't get caught." He pressed the end call before waiting for a response and dashed into the room as fast as he can, barely avoiding the guards that were facing the other way, talking to each other. As soon as he was inside the room he shut the door and collapsed onto the floor breathlessly. Now was one of those times he hated that his spot was so far away from his room.

"Blaine?"

Blaine's head snapped up when he heard the quiet, beautiful voice. His breath hitched when he caught site of Kurt, sitting up in his bed with a concerned expression. **Why does he have to be so beautiful?**

Blaine ignored him and simply got up and walked to the bed before bending down to stuff the bag under it, avoiding Kurt's eyes that burning into the back of his head. He flopped down onto his bed, suddenly feeling exhausted.

"Why's there dried blood on your arm?" Kurt asked quietly, as if afraid that if he raised his voice it would disturb the resounding silence and shatter something.

Blaine looked down at his arm and mentally cursed himself for not cleaning it up or pulling down his sleeve.

"It's nothing. I hurt myself running back here."

"That seems quite unlikely. I can see the tourniquet dangling under your sleeve."

Blaine mentally scolded himself for not cleaning up properly. He grabbed the tourniquet and threw it under his bed. "What's it to you, anwyay? I thought you were ignoring my existence. You were doing a great job, why ruin it now?" He bit out angrily.

Kurt visibly recoiled from the sound of his voice, but then after a moment of silence suddenly got up from his place on the bed and crossed the room.

"What are you doing?" Blaine asked in a panicked voice, seeing Kurt approaching him and sitting on the bed beside him.

The chestnut haired boy spoke in a hushed, gentle tone, his eyes downcast. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you do it?" Finally, his eyes met Blaine's suddenly irritated ones.

"It's none of your business."

"It is if you're hurting yourself like that." Kurt replied gently.

Blaine tried to sound nonchalant, but his voice was shaky. "No, it's not. And I'm not hurting myself, so you can quit the act and go back to your bed and continue to ignore me like before." **I don't want you to ignore me.**

Kurt ignored him and continued, "You can always talk to me, you know. Maybe it'll help."

Blaine laughed humorlessly. "I don't need _or_ want your help, so please go back to your bed" **Please stay. Please help me.**

Kurt sighed and got up. "You don't have to act tough, Blaine. We all have our inner demons. It doesn't make you weak if you ask for help." He whispered gently before making his way back under the covers of his own bed, turning his back to Blaine. The curly haired boy stared after him, stared at the back facing him, suddenly feeling cold and alone.

**You are alone.**


	8. Chapter 6

**A.N: Not much to say about this chapter other than I hope you like it! As for the triggers, I don't think there isn't anything extreme. It has a little foul language, but that's about it. **_**  
**_

**Blaine's thoughts.** _Kurt's thoughts._

__**Chapter 6:**

Blaine was restless that night. He tried to sleep, he really did, but Scott and Kurt were clouding his mind, and no matter how much he tried to force the thoughts away, they stayed planted at the front of his mind. He felt nauseous, sick. The more he saw both faces in his mind, the more he felt like he could barely breathe. He felt like his head was going to explode, and with every thought, his heart clenched. He had to stop hurting over Kurt. Scott caused him enough pain that left him permanently damaged, and he definitely didn't plan to go through the same pain, regardless of the fact that he knew he was beginning to have feelings for Kurt. **You need to start pushing him away.** He ignored the increasing rate of his heart at the mere thought of avoiding Kurt.

Before he knew it, the alarm that the school had put in each room at the beginning of every year was blaring. He groaned and attempted to cover up the noise by pressing the pillow over his head. He heard Kurt rustle around and yawn. Finally, the alarm stopped blaring, and he heard the bathroom door close. He attempted to get out of bed, but only managed to slither until the upper half of his body was dangling outside the bed, and before he knew it, he accidentally bended further down, losing his balance, and fell to the floor face first with a grunt. He didn't lift his head from its place on the floor, feeling like it weighed a ton, and reached for his pillow absentmindedly, pulling it down to cuddle against it.

He heard Kurt exit the bathroom, but he still didn't lift his head. He heard Kurt's melodic, slightly concerned voice, "Blaine? Are you okay? What are you doing on the floor?"

Blaine simply grunted as a response and turned around to look at him. He felt his breath leave him at the site. Kurt was in his uniform and looking as dashing, beautiful and gorgeous as ever. **How is it that he manages to rock that uniform, when most of us look like shit in it?**

Kurt gasped when he saw Blaine's face, "Blaine, you look terrible-"

"Gee, thanks." Blaine muttered, cutting him off. He flung his arm over his eyes to block out the sunlight pouring into the room through the blinds.

"You know that's not what I mean. I just mean that you look sick. Your skin is pale, your eyes are red-rimmed, and there are purple circles around your eyes." He said in concern. "Did you sleep last night at all?"

"I'm fine," He answered, not saying that he hadn't had a second of sleep because his gorgeous face was clouding his mind.

"You're clearly not fine, there's obviously something wrong-" Kurt protested, bending onto the floor, only to be cut off by Blaine.

"Would you just drop it? You're talking too much and my head hurts, so you're not exactly helping. Stop acting like you care and just leave." He bit out, doing his best not to flinch at Kurt's hurt face.

Kurt added weakly, looking down at the floor. "You know I care-"

"Well the feeling isn't mutual, so do me a favor and leave." He bit out, trying to hold himself as much as possible so he wouldn't break when he saw the even more hurt look on Kurt's face. **I seem to be the one who always puts that expression on his face, huh?** He just needed Kurt to start hating him, so it would make it easier for Blaine to forget about him, because Kurt was just so caring and selfless even though Blaine did nothing but hurt him. **You're not thinking about Kurt's feelings when you act like an asshole. You're selfish. You're hurting his feelings for the sake of not getting hurt again.**

Kurt visibly flinched at his last comment, stood up slowly, and whispered shakily, looking as if he was about to cry, "Why are you being mean? I'm only trying to help."

**It's now or never, Blaine. You need to make him hate you.**

"I don't fucking need your help! How many times do I have to tell you that? I don't care about you. You're nothing to me. We kissed, like, twice! Are you so desperate for someone to love you, that you thought I cared about you because I kissed you? You're a sad-"

Kurt had had enough. "_Stop it! Just stop it!_ All you've been doing since the moment I arrived was throwing rude, hurtful comments at me! Are you listening to yourself, Blaine? In case you were wondering, it doesn't make you a stronger person when you say things like that to me, to anyone. I spilled my heart out to you. I told you things I never told anyone. For a moment there, I thought you actually cared about me, that you told me to tell you what happened to me so that you could make me feel like I mattered, like I wasn't a person without feelings that people kept hurting. But now I know that you're just a sick, heartless bastard that pretends to act strong and tough, when I know you're nothing but the opposite on the inside!" Kurt practically yelled, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "I'm done with you. I'm going to the Warden right now and I'm requesting a new room. Fuck you, Blaine."

And before Blaine could even wrap his head around what happened, Kurt left the room, banging the door behind him.

Blaine was shaking, trembling with the heart ache he was feeling. He sat motionless on the floor, staring at nothing in particular with tears streaming down his face fast.

**This was what you wanted, wasn't it? You wanted him to hate you, didn't you? Well congratulations, because not only does he hate you, but he's leaving the room. Leaving you.**

* * *

Kurt's heart was physically aching as he ran from the room to nowhere in particular. He ran till he hit a dead end. His loud sobs were echoing through the walls. He slid down the wall, shaking and trembling from fierce sobs.

After what felt like ages, his sobs slowly subsided and turned into whimpers, that soon turned into shaky breaths. His head was pounding against his skull from all the crying.

_Crying seems to be all I do, these days_. He laughed bitterly at the thought.

He was determined for the tears to stop for good. Blaine has made him cry enough, since he's been here._ It's okay though, you're moving out of the room. Now you won't have to see his face every day_. His heart clenched painfully in his chest at the thought of Blaine. As much as he thought he hated him at the moment, he couldn't deny that being away from Blaine made him feel odd. _Oh shut up, Kurt. You've only known each other for a couple of weeks. You're being overdramatic. _

He shook his head, slowly stood up and walked in the direction of the Warden's office.

Once there, he knocked tentatively.

"Come in,"

He took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

He took in the high ceiling, expensive paintings on the wall, the mahogany furniture, and couldn't help but think that even though this was a reform school, it looked beautiful.

The Warden was sitting behind a large mahogany desk on a leather chair. She looked up, took in his red-rimmed eyes, and tear stained cheeks, and motioned for him to take a seat on one of the seats in front of the desk.

"What happened, Kurt?"

"I came here to request a change of roommate."

She raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow, and the side of her lips pulled up in half a smile. "And why, may I ask? Has Blaine been giving you trouble?"

"Yes, I can't stand being in the room with him anymore." He said hesitantly.

"Did he physically hurt you?" She asked, emphasizing on the 'physical'.

"W-Well… N-No, but-"

"Well, Kurt, as much as I'd love to fulfill your wishes, I cannot change your roommate unless you were physically harmed by him." She said with a raised eyebrow, leaning back against her chair with her arms folded.

"Ma'am, please. I-I-I just can't stand to look at him a-anymore." He felt his eyes beginning to fill with tears. He couldn't be in the same room as Blaine, he just couldn't. Not right now, at least.

She sighed and leaned forward to clasp one of his hands. "Look, Kurt, I honestly can't put you in a different room. No student is to be in a single room, it's a rule. And there aren't any students who still don't have roommates. So I just can't switch your room. Emotional pain isn't included in the rules of room change, unfortunately." She said with a sympathetic smile.

"But, wasn't Blaine alone before I came?" He protested desperately.

"Look, Kurt… I'm not saying you have no right to be upset, or anything, since I don't exactly know what happened. But you're actually not the first person complaining about him," She said sheepishly.

He looked up with a questioning stare.

"Blaine has a history of, what can I call it… breaking hearts, if I may say. Ever since his old roommate Scott committed sui- um, since his old roommate Scott... stopped being his roommate, he's been given special permission to have a single bedroom due to the circumstance, until we found someone suitable to fill in for Scott."

Kurt's head was swimming with questions. _Why had they thought I was suitable? What happened to Scott? Why does everyone talk about Blaine like he went through the most tragic thing ever?_

"Ma'am, if I may ask, what happened to Blaine?" He asked, instead of the nagging question of _'What happened to Scott?_'. He felt like it wasn't his place to ask about something that seemed so 'personal'.

"Well, I can't tell you everything, but I _can_ tell you that he's been through more than most of the students at this reform school. As you know, Blaine's… gay. That hasn't exactly been something that was getting him any positive reactions. And I'd honestly love to tell you everything, but it's not my place."

Kurt huffed annoyingly.

The Warden smiled a little, "I'm guessing more than once person has said the exact same thing?"

He nodded and looked at the floor, going back to the main topic. "So… I'm stuck with Blaine?"

"I'm afraid so. Although if he physically hurts you, you come straight to me, and we'll switch your room right away, alright?" She said with a hint of doubt.

Kurt nodded once again and got up from his chair and made his way to the door. He stopped short when he heard the Warden say, "Kurt, about Blaine, keep an eye on him for me, would you? I'm afraid of what he might do."

He didn't turn around and continued storming angrily down the hall without looking back. _Why's everyone on Blaine's side, when all he's done was hurt me? He's a heartless bastard, and yet everyone seems to treat him like he's made of glass._

He was so absorbed in his angry thoughts that he ran smack into another body and fell to the floor, his body pressed against the other. He scrambled to get up, and started hastily apologizing. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going! I'm so sorry, I'm so so-"

"Woah, woah. Calm down, I'm fine." The stranger chuckled.

Kurt looked up at the sound of the boy's friendly laugh. He felt his cheeks turning a deep crimson when his eyes locked with the green ones of the boy. He had light brown hair that was falling on his forehead, almost covering his eyes. He had a gorgeous smile with a set of perfectly white teeth. His features were sharp, and he was tall and a little on the bulky side. His eyes were glimmering, staring at Kurt with what he guessed was kindness.

_Blaine's eyes are prettier, though._

Kurt mentally berated and scolded himself at the thought of Blaine._ Forget about him._

The boy extended his arm, interrupting his train of thoughts, and Kurt hesitated about shaking his hand. The boy seemed to realize his hesitation and pulled his arm back, letting it dangle at his side. "I'm Tyler,"

"Kurt," He said, blushing because of Tyler's gaze.

"What group are you in, Kurt?" He asked, gesturing to the hallway, as if telling Kurt to follow him, and started walking. Kurt hurried to catch up, and picked up the tag hanging on his neck to check his group name. "Um… I'm in A,"

"So am I!" Tyler said excitedly, glancing at Kurt from the corner of his eyes, making Kurt blush for what seemed to be the hundredth time in the past 5 minutes. "Are you headed there now? We can go there together." He offered.

"Um, sure."

The walk was nice, Kurt thought. It was nice forgetting about Blaine for a while. Kurt learned that Tyler was at Dalton for pulling a Grand Theft Auto when he was drunk, explaining the whole story in detail, making Kurt laugh. When Tyler had asked him what he was in for, he had looked anywhere but at Tyler's eyes, hoping to send the message that he'd rather not talk about it. Thankfully, Tyler got the message and changed the subject right away, throwing in a few flirty comments here and there, confusing Kurt, but still making him blush. _How many people were gay at this school?_

He kept cracking a few jokes as they made their way through the door, and Kurt was genuinely laughing.

He didn't notice Blaine staring at him with a pained expression, and a raged expression towards Tyler.

Kurt and Tyler sat down next to each other, not paying the others attention, other than the occasional 'Hey' that he exchanged with the boys he knew that were in his group. Tyler excused himself to say Hello to the people he knew that were in the corner of the room, leaving Kurt to look around. He noticed Blaine stand and sit at the farthest chair from Kurt, seemingly oblivious to Kurt's eyes on him. He sank onto the chair dejectedly, not taking his eyes off the floor. Kurt felt a stab in his heart at Blaine's appearance. His hair was messier than usual, his uniform put on sloppier than usual, with the tie hanging loosely and his sleeves rolled messily until his elbows. Suddenly, he looked up and his eyes locked with Kurt's.

He felt his insides squirm at the intenseness of Blaine's gaze. He felt like his eyes were pouring into him, drowning him, choking him until he almost couldn't breathe. He tried to look away, but it was like Blaine's intense hazel eyes were magnetic, and he simply couldn't look anywhere else.

Thankfully, Tyler sat back next to him which made Blaine look down with a defeated expression. Kurt still hadn't acknowledge Tyler when he said his name. He couldn't take his eyes off Blaine, even though he not only told himself to avoid him, but to forget him entirely. And here he was, unable to go through the simplest task of not looking him.

It wasn't until Tyler waved a hand in front of his face that he snapped out of his trance and turned to the green-eyed boy.

A lady that looked like she was in her mid-forties walked in right at that moment, taking a seat on the chair next to Blaine. She whispered something in his ear, and he shook his head solemnly, and her eyes darted to Kurt's for a second.

Suddenly, she clapped her hands and called out to the boys in the room, telling them to take a seat on the chairs that were arranged in a circle. She looked at the file in her hands, and glanced up at Kurt. "You must be Kurt,"

Kurt nodded, trying his best not to look at Blaine, who had his elbows on his thighs and his head in his hands. _Why did she have to sit next to him? It's going to make it harder for me to avoid him when they're sitting so close to each other._

"Well then, Kurt, why don't we start with you? Tell us about why you're here." She began.

Kurt flinched, squirming in his seat, avoiding all of the eyes that were on him. "I, um, I-I..."

"Come on, you tell us why you're here, and I or the boys will tell you why they're here, too."

Kurt swallowed hard and looked down, refusing to say anything. He heard the lady sigh and adjust the glasses on her face, glancing down at her file. "I already know why you're here, honey. I just want you to say it out loud. It'll make you feel better, and it's a standard procedure to anyone new who joins the group."

Kurt started to feel sick. The memory of Blaine holding him safely and closely while Kurt told him about his past exploded all around his mind. The eyes of the entire room, except for Blaine's, that were on him weren't exactly helping, either.

His head snapped up almost painfully when he heard the unmistakable voice of Blaine. "Just skip him for today, Mrs. Clary." His eyes looked at Kurt for a fraction of a second, then back to the ground.

Mrs. Clary pursed her lips and directed her attention to the rest of the group. "Okay, boys. I want you to pair up into groups of two and talk to each other about what your goals are after you get out of the reform school."

The room filled with voices, and Tyler turned to him with a kind smile. He touched Kurt's hand for a second before moving it away, making Kurt blush. "Want to be my partner?"

Kurt smiled, "Yeah, sur-"

"Kurt?" He heard Mrs. Clary call for him.

"Yes?"

"You're going to pair up with Blaine,"

Both Kurt and Blaine jumped up form their seats, both of them exclaiming 'What?' incredulously. They both began to protest, but Mrs. Clary shut them off by raising her hand firmly. "You are pairing up, no matter how much you both hate each other. Now, Tyler, go pair up with Trent over there."

Tyler nodded dejectedly and shot Kurt a smile before walking over to Trent and engaging in a conversation.

She turned to Kurt and Blaine again, "Now, go to the corner of the room and do what I told you all to do." She said firmly, leaving no room for discussion.

The two boys walked to the corner of the room, turned to each other, but kept a big space between them. None of them was looking at the other, each had his eyes roaming around anything, suddenly finding the furniture around the room interesting.

"Boys," Mrs. Clary called from her seat from the other side of the room sternly, staring at them pointedly.

Blaine ran a shaky hand through his hair. "Um… So I guess we need to do the exercise thing?" He asked awkwardly.

But Kurt wasn't listening, he was suddenly bombarded with questions in his head. Questions of what happened to Blaine, why he acted like this when Kurt had a feeling he was the complete opposite on the inside. Questions of why he was so determined to keep Kurt far away from him.

He looked up at Blaine sharply and blurted. "Do you hate me?"

Blaine looked taken aback by the sudden question, actually taking a step back, almost losing his balance. "T-That's not w-what we're supposed to be t-talking ab-"

"Answer me, Blaine. Answer me truthfully." Kurt interrupted, shocking himself at his boldness, and stared intensely at Blaine, taking a few steps closer until he was less than a foot away.

Blaine looked down until he felt Kurt's hands lift his chin up so his eyes met Blaine's. "Look at me when you answer." He said, trying to avoid the electricity he felt when he touched Blaine.

"I-I…" Blaine seemed to be suffering under Kurt's gaze. His eyes starting to fill with tears, but he didn't dare turn away or blink. They were both in their own bubble, forgetting everyone else in the room.

"Do you hate me? Is that why you keep pushing me away and throwing rude comments at me? Is it some sort of defense mechanism?" He asked once again.

Blaine was silent for a moment. He blinked, and the tears that were pooling in his eyes slowly trickled down his face. Kurt felt a pang in his heart at the site.

"No, I don't." He heard Blaine whisper almost inaudibly.

Just when Kurt was about to say something, Blaine darted out of the room. It wasn't until his eyes turned from their gaze at the door Blaine had left from, that he realized the entire room was quiet and staring at him.

Kurt stoof there for a moment, trying to collect his thoughts. He was suddenly hit with the urge to find Blaine. It wasn't fair that Kurt kept suffering when Blaine never explained anything to him, and just kept lashing out at him. He couldn't help but feel that inside Blaine's head, Blaine actually did care about him. That Blaine didn't mean it when he would hurt Kurt. _Maybe he needs someone to hold him the way he held me. _The curly haired boy that he just saw was not the asshole he knew. The way his eyes were wide with tears, burning with an intense and unreadable stare. Kurt felt like it was longing, but he guessed it was just his imagination. He wanted to know the real Blaine, the one that was under the hard exterior.

He wanted to solve the mystery that was Blaine Anderson.

So he decided to take his chances, and followed Blaine.


	9. Chapter 7

**AN: I'm sorry for not updating earlier, but I've just been really busy and I'm writing another fic so my ideas were getting mixed up! So I know it's been an angst fest, so I'm sure you guys were getting tired of it, so hopefully the ending of this chapter makes up for it? Of course there'll still be angst later, but I guess I just want to add some fluff. Oh, and you finally get to know the story behind Blaine's asshole-ness! (that's not a word i know but yeah it's 7 am and i stayed up till now writing this so my brain isn't really functioning.) So there aren't any new triggers that I haven't mentioned before in this chapter, so I hope you enjoy!**

**(reviews are very much appreciated :D)**

**Chapter 7:**

"Blaine! Blaine, wait!" Kurt yelled after the curly haired boy that was quickly rounding the corner, avoiding his the calls of his name.

Kurt quickened the movement of his legs even more, trying to catch up with him. _For someone shorter than me, he's really fucking fast._

When Kurt rounded the corner, he saw Blaine open a door and climb up a flight of stairs. He frowned as he was still trying to keep up. _Where's he going?_

Once he reached the top, he opened the door he saw Blaine disappear through, and found himself on the roof.

It was a very wide, vast space with what seemed to be a little makeshift tent on the back corner. _A tent on a roof. Not weird at all._

Kurt approached the tent and peeked inside, only to find Blaine curled up against some blankets and pillows crying. Kurt's heart clenched so hard at the site that he almost stumbled and fell on top of the small, shaking figure that was Blaine.

"Blaine? What's wrong?" Kurt whispered almost urgently as he tentatively approached Blaine.

Blaine looked up from his pool of blankets and pillows, his eyes red-rimmed, his face wet from the tears, and stared helplessly at Kurt.

"Oh, Blaine…" Kurt reached out to pull the crying boy into his arms, half-expecting Blaine to pull away or perhaps snap at him, but was shocked to see him practically leap into his open arms. The curly haired boy buried his head in the crook of Kurt's neck, and began to sob.

"I-I don't h-hate y-you, a-and that's w-what scares m-me." Blaine whispered into his neck.

Kurt didn't know what to say. He had so many questions he wanted to ask Blaine, but they could wait until he calmed down a bit. He didn't want Blaine snapping at him.

After about 20 minutes or so, Blaine's sobs subsided and he jerkily pulled back, making Kurt jump a little at the sudden movement. When Kurt looked at Blaine's face, he saw that his eyes were hard, and his whole body was tense.

He asked Kurt in a hard, slightly insecure voice, "Why did you follow me?"

Kurt sighed. He was so sick of Blaine's sudden mood swings. One second he was nice, the next he was an asshole, the next he was the most vulnerable, broken boy Kurt has ever seen. _If he's going to keep doing this, I honestly don't think I can deal anymore._ He ignored the question and began to crawl out of the tent, until he felt a hand clasp his wrist tightly. Kurt turned his head to see Blaine looking almost desperate. "Please just… Just don't leave right now."

"Blaine…"

"Please, Kurt. I'll… I'll explain everything you want to know." The curly haired boy pleaded, tugging slightly on Kurt's wrist.

Kurt tentatively crawled back next to Blaine, careful to keep a good distance between them. He could see Blaine notice how Kurt sat purposefully a little far, but said nothing about it, and instead turned his body around to fully face Kurt.

The countertenor took in Blaine's appearance. His face was puffy and blotchy from all the crying, his uniform was wet at the collar and crinkled, and Blaine's entire frame was shaking slightly. Kurt felt the urge to hold Blaine close again, to promise him that everything would be okay. _Ironic, isn't it? That I want to comfort the person that has done nothing but hurt me since the second I got here?_

"I know I've been nothing but… mean to you since you got here. It's just… I'm scared." Blaine said insecurely.

"Of what?"

Blaine looked down and said nothing for a long time that Kurt was about to ask again, but then he saw a lone tear fall to the ground and heard the sound of his broken voice. "Of getting hurt, again."

Kurt thought he could just burst into tears at the site of Blaine. He was like a completely different person than the one he'd met on his first day here only a few weeks ago.

Kurt whispered back, "Again?"

The hazel eyed boy sighed and got into a more comfortable position before he began his explanation. "I'm guessing the Warden didn't let you change rooms because you're not allowed to be in a room alone, and that you're wondering how I was alone before you came?" At Kurt's nod, he continued. "Well… My old r-roommate… He…"

Kurt reached out and took Blaine's trembling hand in his, encouraging him.

The broken boy looked at Kurt gratefully and squeezed his hand before continuing in a broken whisper. "His n-name w-was Scott. Scott was my… Scott was my everything." He sniffed, trying to stop the tears threatening to escape his eyes. "I wasn't only sent here for drugs… You see, I have a pretty fucked up family." Blaine smiled sadly. "My mom is practically the biggest bitch in existence. She married some filthy rich guy literally a month after my father passed away."

A lone tear escaped. Kurt squeezed his hand. "I wasn't always this fucked up. Everything went downhill when my dad passed away. He was my best friend. When I told him I was gay, he was so supportive. He told me that he would always love me no matter what I was." Blaine smiled at the memory of how loving and caring his dad had always been.

The smile faded, however, once he said the next part. "Suddenly, I get called into the principle's office one day while in school, and they tell me that he… that he died in a car crash."

Kurt took his chances and pulled Blaine against him to hold him tight while he explained. Blaine looked up at him gratefully before he continued in a shaky voice. "My mom was so indifferent about the death, it was practically disgusting to even look at her. Of course she's a gold digger, so she married that rich guy. The guy already had a son that's probably 18 now, and a daughter that's 15, I think. The entire 'family' always treated me like shit. Whenever I would come home, they'd say stuff like 'Oh look, the homo's back.'

Then one day, I was taking a nap in my room, when my step-brother came in and took the bag I kept the pills that I used to take in. I went to his room when I figured it was missing and found him crushing them all, so I yelled at him for taking my shit. He completely ignored me so I walked up to him to yell right at his face when he…" Blaine's fists clenched tight. "He punched me in the gut and pushed me onto the floor. Then out of the fucking blue, the guy grabbed the baseball bat that he had in his room and hit himself. He fucking hit himself! Who _does_ that? So I freaked out and tried to stop him by getting up and grabbing the it. I mean really, what the fuck was he doing? Then… He suddenly screamed really loud and my step-dad came barging in like two seconds later, and that's when I realized what he was trying to do. He had hit himself on purpose, knowing that I would try to stop him and take the bat away, and that his dad would come barging in the moment he screamed. He knew what his dad would see. He would see his step-son holding a baseball bat, and his son full of bruises. I tried to explain, but the evidence just turned against me. And so, I ended up in this shit hole."

Kurt was speechless. He honestly didn't know what to say. _How could someone do that? Did they hate Blaine that much that the son literally hit himself to make it seem like it was Blaine? What kind of a fucked up people are they?_ "I just… I don't know what to say…"

Blaine laughed bitterly and pulled away slightly, though he was still in Kurt's embrace.

"I'm so sorry, Blaine."

Blaine snorted. "Shit happens. Nothing we can do about it other than accept it."

Kurt nodded absentmindedly, his mind still racing with questions about Scott, and that's when he remembered that Blaine still hadn't said anything about him. "What about… What about Scott?"

The curly haired boy tensed slightly, but then relaxed and released a defeated sigh. "Damn. I thought with this dramatic confession, you'd forget about him." At Kurt's dubious stare, he chuckled softly. "You really are something else, aren't you?"

Kurt smiled slightly and pulled Blaine against him once again. His heart was still aching over the story about Blaine's family and how he ended up here, but his brain was just nagging at him about what happened to Scott. "So tell me… What happened?" He asked tentatively, still not wanting to cross any boundaries. For all he knew, Blaine could snap at him any second now.

Blaine sagged against him with a soft sigh, and began the story that had been plaguing Kurt's mind for ages. "So when I got here, I was a mess. There was all this anger in me from having my so-called family do that to me, that I would beat up anyone who remotely said anything to me. I practically beat my old roommate up to a pulp just because he called me an asshole, so they moved me to a new room and put me on probation. I wasn't allowed down to dinner, wasn't allowed outside of my room aside from classes, wasn't allowed to even talk to anyone since they took my phone and laptop, and I had no friends, so that was pretty pointless. So when they moved me to the new room… I met Scott." Blaine smiled slightly.

"At first, I kept lashing out at him whenever he talked to me. I would throw stuff across the room whenever he approached me and would call him horrible names, and yet, he wouldn't stop trying to talk to me. So eventually, I gave up the fight and decided to let him in step by step. Of course, I still lashed out and threw a punch every now and then, but he was always patient. Always. And he never even got mad at me for it. So with time, I broke down my walls, and let him in fully. Next thing I knew, he was the love of my life. My anchor, my rock, my joy, my everything. Whenever I was with him, all my worries would just disappear." A few tears escaped Blaine's watery eyes. "Then after that, Scott introduced me to the guys that are practically my best friends now,"

Kurt felt a little jealousy bubble up in him at the way Blaine talked about how amazing Scott was and about how much he loved him, but he buried it deep down quickly. _Now is definitely not the time to get jealous._

Blaine continued, "Scott even told me he wanted to be with me forever. We spent practically every hour of everyday with each other." He looked around the tent they were sitting in. "This was our secret spot. No one ever came up here, so we decided to put a tent up and hang out. It was like our little world. With time, we both got into heroine and this was the place to use it. If we ever did it in our dorm room, the drug-dog would sniff it out and we'd be fucked. Sometimes we would just lay here with each other and do nothing. One day, though, he randomly promised me something when we were cuddling here."

Blaine's smile faded at this, and his eyes shone with a new wave of tears. His voice was shaky when he continued. "He… He promised me t-that he would always be there for me. H-He promised me that he would never leave me. That he would never let anything or anyone hurt me ever again."

Kurt was frowning at Blaine's solemn and angry expression. _Isn't it a good thing when someone promises to never let you get hurt again?_

When Blaine continued, he finally found out why. "The next day, I found him in our dorm room when I came back to class… dead. H-He overdosed. He killed himself." At this point, Blaine was practically bawling against Kurt's chest.

Even Kurt couldn't hold back the tears that were pooling in his eyes.

Blaine continued, "The day after he promised he would never leave me, he killed himself. I begged for him to wake up. I begged him to come back to me. I begged, I screamed, I demanded him to tell me why. Just, why? Why would he do this to me?"

Kurt didn't know what to do other than whisper soothing words in Blaine's ears and rock his convulsing body back and forth.

They stayed in that position for what Kurt guessed was over an hour. None of them said anything, and none of them caring that they had missed curfew.

Kurt had his eyes closed and his nose pressed against Blaine's soft, curly hair. "I'm so, so sorry." He whispered before placing a soft kiss on his hair. He heard Blaine sniff and move before he suddenly felt soft lips moving languidly against his. Kurt was a little surprised but still kept his eyes closed as he gently cupped Blaine's tear-filled face with one hand while his other hand found Blaine's. He intertwined their hands that seemed to be made for each other. The kiss was slow and tender, filled with a gentleness Kurt didn't know Blaine possessed. After a while, they both pulled back.

Blaine let his eyes fall downcast shyly and his cheeks were slightly pink. Kurt couldn't breathe for a second as he marveled at Blaine's beauty. He asked himself for a moment if this was really the same Blaine he had met on his first day here, or if the Blaine he had met on the first day had a twin that was the complete opposite.

No, this was the real Blaine. This was the Blaine Kurt was starting to fall in love with.

He stroked Blaine's cheek softly with his thumb and pulled his other hand out of Blaine's to lift his chin up so he could look at him. "I really hope you're not going to flip out on me now…" He said insecurely. He really wasn't prepared for another one of Blaine's sudden outbursts.

Blaine chuckled softly, his expression guilty. He looked into Kurt's eyes and said, "The reason why I kept trying to push you away was because I kept feeling the same feelings I used to feel when I was around Scott. I don't know what it is about you, but it's like you're just- you have this power that just makes me feel…" He stammered, trying to find the right words.

Kurt chuckled at his cute, nervous state. "You make me feel the same way." He confessed. "I never told anyone everything that happened that night of the… the night I… the night I killed him. But with you it was just like my walls just crashed down and before I knew it, I was spilling it all out. I know we've only known each other for a few weeks, most of which we sort of hated each other, but there's something about you that I just…" Kurt left the last sentence hanging, his eyes searching Blaine's gorgeous hazel ones.

"...can't stay away no matter how much I convince myself that I don't want to be around you? Yeah, that's how I feel." Blaine finished for him with a smile.

Kurt smiled as well and pecked Blaine's lips chastely. "Exactly. And Blaine?"

At Blaine's questioning stare, he continued. "I know you're scared that… that you'll get hurt again." Blaine cast his eyes downcast and started to move away, as if suddenly remembering the reason he tried to stay away from Kurt in the first place, but Kurt held him still. "No, I want you to look at me when I tell you this." He said softly, yet a little firmly.

Blaine looked up at him again.

For a second, Kurt forgot what he wanted to say when he looked into Blaine's eyes. _How can someone with eyes like these exist?_

He shook his head and continued, "I know you're scared. _I'm_ scared, too. I'm not saying we need to jump into anything… I'm just saying that you can't keep pushing yourself away from anyone who tries to get too close to you. Look, I know you're probably thinking 'What does he know? He didn't go through what I went through.' And you're right, I didn't go through what you went through, but I _do_ care about you, Blaine. I know it sounds lame that I'm saying this when we don't really know each other, but it's true. I know the asshole you act like isn't really you. I know you do it to push people away, and I don't blame you.

I'm not saying we should be in a relationship. Although I want to be in one with you, I would never force you into anything like that. All I want you to know is that I would never hurt you like that, regardless of the fact that you do or don't believe me, it's true. And the last thing I want is to see you hurting over this."

Blaine hadn't so much as moved during Kurt's little speech. He was just staring into Kurt's eyes with such an intensity that Kurt had to look away.

Suddenly, he heard Blaine's almost inaudible voice. "How do you exist?"

Kurt was so taken aback by the random question that he actually laughed slightly. "Well you see… My mom and dad decided to have me so-" He started, but was interrupted by Blaine's mouth on his. Kurt melted into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Blaine's neck and humming softly against Blaine's lips.

When Blaine pulled away, he kept his face close to Kurt's. "You really are something else." Kurt smiled and leaned in for another kiss.

Kurt was drowning. He was drowning in the sent of Blaine, in the taste of Blaine, in the grasp of Blaine. Everything was Blaine, and absolutely nothing hurt. Kurt knew he was probably being silly and melodramatic, but he felt like there was nowhere else he'd rather be than in Blaine's arms.

After Blaine pulled away, he pulled Kurt down onto the blankets and against him. He wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist and held him securely, and Kurt had never felt safer than in Blaine's arms.

The chestnut haired boy was purposefully ignoring the nagging part in his mind that kept asking if this meant Blaine was officially his, when suddenly Blaine spoke, as if reading his mind.

"So I guess this means we're boyfriends now?"

Kurt smiled and snuggled closer into the curly haired boy's body. "Only if you want us to be. I told you, I don't want to push you into anything you don't want."

"I'd be lying to myself and to you if I said I didn't want this."

Kurt's lips tilted upwards and he shut his eyes slowly and whispered, "Well then, I guess we are boyfriends."

**AN: I know this may have seemed rushed, but when you think about it, it's practically about time that they got together.. At least, I think so.**

**Hope you liked it!**


	10. Chapter 8

**A.N: I'm so, so sorry for the late update. Seriously. You can slap me, if you want, I know I deserve it. It's just, my mom kept pressuring me with the whole "You need to choose what you're going to study in college! you need to start applying! you need to focus on your studies! bla bla bla bla" and I just got writer's block! I know I'm a poo for giving you guys an angsty chapter, but this was (hopefully) the last klaine fight-ish chapter, until the plot actually settles in, okie? It's just, I felt like it was too rushed if both Blaine and Kurt were so okay with being boyfriends so fast, what with both of their pasts, so I had to at least put one more rocky road, y'know what i'm sayinn?**

**Anyway, there aren't any triggers in this chapter. **

**Blaine's thoughts, **_Kurt's thoughts,_ _Memories or past events._

**Again, I'm so sorry for the late chapter! **

**Chapter 8: **

The next few days were odd, thought Blaine. The feeling of having a new boyfriend was both exhilarating, and scary. Scary because Blaine was still convinced, deep down, that he was going to get hurt all over again. Sometimes, when Kurt tried to get too close to him, Blaine would start to panic until Kurt soothed him before backing away and giving him space. He knew Kurt was probably getting tired of his antics, but he couldn't help himself. Whenever they got too close, images of Scott's dead body and un-fulfilled promise filled his mind, and his body would automatically recoil. He also knew that Kurt had repeatedly told him that he wouldn't hurt him, but his reactions were out of his hands, and Blaine had apologized more than once.

He just didn't want to hand over his heart, only to have it thrown away and abandoned. At least not so soon, since he still hasn't recovered from his past relationship. Part of his heart was attached to Kurt already, and he knew it was dangerous, but when Kurt looked at him with those fond eyes, he felt like he could just melt.

Blaine was trying, he really was. He just needed a little more time to get used to this, and to assure his heart that this time might be different than the last.

What also didn't help his situation was when he and Kurt had told their group of friends about their relationship. His friends had put on fake happy masks, probably not to hurt Kurt, but Blaine could see right through it.

When Kurt was in one of the few different classes that they had, David and Wes had cornered him.

* * *

_"Blaine, what are you doing?" Wes demanded, concerned._

_Blaine stared at the ground, starting to wring his fingers nervously._

_He saw some of the burlier boys at the reform school out of the corner of his eye and straightened up, putting on his badass persona. He couldn't risk showing any weakness. Not when he knew that at the site of weakness, the other guys wouldn't waste a second to come beat him up._

_He shot one of them a menacing glare. "What are you staring at?"_

_The boy quickly looked away and pretended to be busy with something else._

_"Blaine, stop avoiding the question."_

_He turned his head back to his two friends, trying his best to keep his face nonchalant, even though his voice betrayed him with coming out a little shaky. "I-I don't know, you guys… I just - Kurt is amazing. He is. A-And I mean… Why not?" He whispered. Wes and David exchanged glances._

_"Blaine… We care about the both of you. And I honestly don't think you're in any condition to date someone again. Not yet, at least. We see the way you react when Kurt tries to get too close to you. You tense up or make an excuse to go do something else."_

_Blaine looked around and pulled the duo away from the crowd, and into an empty hallway. When he looked back at his friends and saw the intense stares directed at him, he looked anywhere but at them. "He… He makes me happy." He half-lied._

_"He also makes you miserable." At this, Blaine looked up. "It's obvious. We can see the way you hurt whenever Kurt does or says something that reminds you of… of Scott." Blaine flinched at the name, feeling as if someone squeezed his heart. "We just think a relationship isn't what any of you need right now. If you get invested in each other so soon, it'll end up hurting you both."_

_Blaine sighed, knowing what his friends were saying was right. He ran a hand through his curly hair, shifting his position to rest his weight on one foot. "Well, what do you expect me to do? You know he'll get hurt if I tell him that I'm not ready yet. **I** was the one who told him I wanted to be his boyfriend. **I** was the one who pushed it. He **told** me we didn't have to rush, and **I** was the idiot who **did**." He whispered and pointed in his own direction harshly, blaming himself. _

_David put his hand on Blaine's shoulder in a comforting gesture, only to have it shrug off. "Blaine, calm down. You know he'll understand."_

_"**And if he doesn't?**"_

_"Blaine, it's not like you're saying goodbye forever. You're just asking him to be a friend instead of a lover, for now. And when you're ready, you can go back to being boyfriends." Wes assured._

_**You're the definition of a dick, Blaine. Why do you have to be so fucked up, and drag Kurt into your fucked up life? Beautiful, gorgeous, flawless, sweet, selfless Kurt.**_

_He chuckled humorlessly, "So, what, I'm supposed to go up to him and say 'Oh, I'm sorry Kurt. I know we've been boyfriends for a while now, and I know I've been a shitty one at that, but I don't think I'm ready. So I think we should stay friends until I am.'? Do you know how dumb that sounds?"_

_"You know what? Okay, if you're so keen on staying his boyfriend, then you see for yourself how you react the next time he starts to touch you. If you let it happen without freaking out, then don't break things off. But if you freak out like last time, you'll just keep hurting him. Your call." David said sternly. And with that, he and Wes left Blaine to himself in the hallway._

* * *

Blaine walked into their dorm room only to find it empty. **W****eird. Kurt's usually here at this time.**

Part of him felt relieved that he didn't have to go through the 'to break things off, or not to break things off' thing, and part of him wanted to get it over with.

He really liked Kurt. And if the way he had been acting was hurting Kurt, then Blaine didn't think he could keep doing it. He already hurt him enough.

As he walked to the library – Kurt liked to spend time there, sometimes. He said the quiet helped him concentrate on his studies. – he recalled one of his 'panic attacks'.

* * *

_Blaine was sitting on his desk-chair reading, with his feet propped up on the table, a cigarette dangling from his lips, when Kurt walked in._

_"Hey, you." Kurt said, a smile on his face as he walked to Blaine. He pulled the cigarette out and crushed it onto the ashtray and leaned down to give Blaine a light kiss on the lips._

_Blaine felt his insides warming up immediately at the gesture, and smiled back at Kurt when they pulled apart. Kurt pulled him up and towards his bed._

_Blaine suddenly felt nervous. Since they had become boyfriends, they hadn't done more than making out. He just didn't feel ready, nor did he think Kurt was, either. He knew it was contradictory to say that he wasn't ready, since he had been sleeping around before Kurt had come along, but all of those one night stands were just what their name was – one night stands, with no emotional attachment._

_This, on the other hand, this was different. Going further would be too… intimate. And Blaine definitely wasn't ready for that._

_Kurt lay back on the bed and pulled Blaine on top of him. Blaine pushed the slight panic he was starting to feel to the back of his head. **No, Kurt wouldn't go further. He's not even ready for that. He was raped, for crying out loud. Him wanting to jump into that step would be dangerous. Who knew what kind of memories it would trigger for the both of them?**_

_When the last phrase went through Blaine's head, memories suddenly started to fill his own head. Thoughts about he and Scott's first time._

_He quickly looked at Kurt to distract him from the triggering memories, but that just made it worse. Kurt was smiling softly, oblivious to Blaine's inner struggles, running his hand through Blaine's soft curls. "I missed you today. I haven't seen you since this morning." He pouted._

_Blaine closed his eyes, and when he opened them, for a second he thought he saw Scott laying under him, saying the exact same words, not Kurt, and he shot out of bed and fell to the floor. He shook his head violently, trying to clear the image of his old dead boyfriend. Thankfully, when he looked back to Kurt's bed, he saw Kurt and not Scott. Kurt was sitting up wearing a confused and slightly hurt expression. He got up and walked to Blaine's side on the floor and leaned down, touching Blaine's wrist. "Are you okay?" He asked concerned._

_Blaine lowered his eyes. "I... Yeah…"_

_Kurt sat back on his heels, releasing a soft sigh. "It was Scott again, wasn't it?"_

_Blaine's head shot up, "How did you… Kurt, I'm so sorry. These images just keep coming, a-and for a second I saw him instead of you and I-I j-just… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak out like that." He lowered his head again and played with the hem of his shirt._

_He heard Kurt sigh before he cupped Blaine's face, making him look at him. "It's okay, Blaine. I understand." He said with a soft smile before pecking his lips gently. "I'll just give you some space, okay? I'll go over to Nick and Jeff's room for a while, or something." He said with a small smile and disappeared out of the room._

_Blaine sunk back onto the floor and stared at the ceiling._

_**This is the 4th time, Blaine. Get a fucking hold of yourself. Can't you see that your melodramatic reactions are hurting Kurt? Now he probably thinks that you're still insanely obsessed with Scott.**_

* * *

He rounded the corner to where the library was situated, and walked in, expecting to see Kurt invested in a book. But instead he saw Kurt laughing and smiling with someone else. Someone he couldn't identify from the back.

"… so and then she punched me in the face!" He heard the stranger say, making Kurt laugh even harder.

Blaine cleared his throat when none of the boys noticed him.

Their faces turned and Blaine finally saw the boy's face.** Oh, yeah, that's the guy that was in our group therapy thing a couple of weeks ago. The one that was sitting next to Kurt. The one that was making Kurt smile when you were doing the opposite.**

Kurt smiled up at him and took Blaine's hand from where he was standing. "Tyler, this is Blaine, my boyfriend-"

Blaine's insides twisted. Both at the fact that the boy opposite Kurt was looking at him as if he didn't deserve Kurt, and the other at the fact that Blaine probably didn't, seeing as Blaine was coming him to test the waters and see if he was going to break things off.

"-And Blaine, this is Tyler." Kurt continued, gesturing to Tyler with a big smile on his face.

Tyler nodded his head at him, and Blaine forced himself to stay nonchalant and not reply. **What the fuck is this guy doing with Kurt?**

Tyler turned to Kurt and tilted his head to the side. "You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend, Kurt. How come?" He said with a way-too-cocky smile directed to Blaine.

It took about every ounce of power not to punch that smirk off of this dickhead's face. His fingers loosed a little around Kurt's fingers, "You didn't tell him that I'm your boyfriend?" Blaine asked, trying really hard to keep the hurt he felt out of his voice.

Kurt's eyes shot to him, his expression unreadable, and answered. "The topic never came up."

**The topic never came up? It shouldn't even be considered a topic. It should be a fucking necessity when you can clearly see this shitface's advances.**

Blaine pulled his hand out of Kurt's slowly and pretended to fix his sleeve. **Kurt's probably sick of you, anyway. Why would he want to be with you, when all you ever do is freak out whenever he basically fucking touches you? He's probably been hanging out with this guy everytime you stayed and sulked in your room after another 'freakout'. See? This is what happens when you act before thinking, Blaine. This is what happens when you agree to something you're not ready for. You might as well just leave these two alone and go prepare a fix, or something.**

He could see Tyler smirking from the corner of his eye. "It never came up… Okay… Well, um, I just came here to… You know what? I'm just gonna go." He said and quickly left the library, willing himself not to cry.

He heard Kurt calling his name, his fast footsteps coming closer.

"Blaine, wait!" Kurt grabbed his hand and turned him around, his expression both hurt and slightly angry. "What the _fuck_ was that?"

Blaine put on a nonchalant mask. "What was what?" He asked.

"I know what you thought, back there. It was as obvious as the answer of 1+1." He accused angrily, his voice starting to rise.

"Thought what? That you were getting tired of the way I freakout sometimes, and that you were basically getting bored and sick of me?" Blaine asked, hurt evident in his voice.

Kurt, on the other hand, looked slightly taken aback by what Blaine was saying. He whispered, "Blaine… What are you talking about? What on earth made you think that?"

"I can see it, Kurt. I see the way you look at me after I push you away when you try to be affectionate. And I definitely saw the way you smiled when you were with that shit, Tyler." Blaine whispered back, his eyes downcast.

Kurt chuckled darkly.

Blaine looked up, confused, and saw the anger on Kurt's face.

"You know, Blaine, for you to accuse me of cheating-"

"I didn't say you were cheating on me, Kurt." Blaine cut in firmly. "I'm just saying that if you're not so happy about the way I've been acting, then I understand if you wanted to spend your time with someone who didn't act the way I did. Don't put words in my mouth and say that I accused you of cheating."

Blaine was suddenly angry. Angry at Scott for doing this to him, angry at himself for reacting the way he did, angry that all he ever did was hurt everyone he loved.

**Wait, what? Did I just include Kurt in the category of people I love? Where did that come from?**

Kurt looked a little startled, until his expression changed to one of accusation. "Yeah well, you kept getting those flashbacks, and you kept pushing me away! And incase you didn't know, Blaine, I hear you whisper his name in your sleep. I don't know if it's from a nightmare, or if you miss him that fucking much, but either way, it is a little hurtful that all you ever think about is him when I'm _standing right there._" Kurt said while he poked Blaine harshly on the chest, his eyes brimming with tears.

Blaine laughed hollowly, "You think I'm pushing you away, because I wish that it's _Scott_ that I want in your place? You think that I'm _enjoying_ these flashbacks? That I'm _welcoming_ them? _That I like the nightmares I keep getting?_ You think I want to think about him? How could you be so _inconsiderate_?" He accused hurtfully.

At this point, tears were rolling down Kurt's face. He saw him swallow and look down guiltily. He said through a choked sob, "I… You're right… I'm sorry."

Blaine's expression softened a bit, and he pulled Kurt against him, holding him tightly. He whispered against his ear, "I just… I don't understand why you would think that, Kurt. I know I haven't been the world's best boyfriend, but I'm trying. I'm so sorry I haven't been treating you the way I should have. If you would just give me time…"

Kurt curled his fists on his shirt and sobbed quietly. "You don't owe me an apology. It's me who should be sorry. I knew you were going through a lot, but I was just being selfish. I was just so _desperate_ for someone to love me, to make me feel wanted again, and I reacted stupidly. I should have comforted you, not leave you alone hurting. I'm so sorry, Blaine. Forgive me?" Kurt looked up, his eyes shining with tears and hope.

Blaine smiled and brushed a few stray strands out of Kurt's forehead and placed a kiss there. "Of course I forgive you, Kurt. And of course you're wanted. Don't ever feel like you're not. But... I do need time to… to forget."

The blue-eyed boy wormed his arms around Blaine's neck. "I know, and I'm willing to help. If you'll let me…"

Blaine smiled and dropped a kiss on his nose. "There's no one else I would want to help me other than the boy I'm falling in lo-um, the boy… you." He stuttered, panicking slightly at his slip-up, hoping it didn't scare Kurt off. **It's true, though. I am falling in love with him.**

But Kurt only beamed and gave him a knowing look and stole a quick kiss before whispering against his lips. "I'm falling in love with you too, you know."

**A.N: Reviews are very much appreciated! :) **


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